[ EDITING ]
✓ = edited
Oneshots, sm posts, reactions, scenarios etc.
ーEnjoy the fluffy, cute, golden Jeon Jungkook; international playboy and our bunny child
A/N: I gradually improved my writing throughout the book so the first couple chapters mig...
Hello~ tell me if you want a part three, I was going to end it in this chapter but it was getting too long.
also sorry for taking so long to write I had to do some research on this chapter subject, and study for the tests I missed because of being absent. That being said there might be some triggering topics in this chapter for the sensitive, but no major self harm.
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"So...your house is really neat," he finally spoke out with an awkward laugh, rubbing his palms on his thighs as he tried to look at you.
"Thanks," you shortly replied with a frown on your lips, picking at the loose string on your couch out of nervousness. Your vision locked on the floor, as to not meet his eyes and embarrass yourself again.
You sat exactly two feet away from him, anytime he shifted you would scoot a bit away to the far end of the couch. This had been going on for about five minutes, the deadly silence hung over the both of you like a fog.
"I just want to sleep," you murmured out for no reason at all. Continuing to pick at the loose string, while tapping out a quick rhythm with your feet on the floor.
"Do you feel tired a lot lately?" Jungkook immediately replied, glad that a conversation was finally starting. Turning to the side to face you more while placing his hands in his lap.
You glanced at him with weary eyes, looking down at the couch you noticed he moved again, making you shift away a little to the opposite end. Looking back at the string you nudged it with your fingernail, continuing to talk while trying to ignore his excitement.
"I don't like sleeping anymore so I get tired lately. Sometimes I even make myself believe I don't need to sleep, that I don't actually have to eat," you bitterly chuckled out, your shoulders slumped in exhaustion as you leaned your elbows on your thighs.
Raising his eyebrow he closed his mouth, stopping himself from speaking again for the moment. After a few seconds of silence he figured out what to say, resting his back against the sofa to relax a bit.
"Is there a reason as to why you don't eat or sleep that connects to your fear of being touched?"
"If you were me and you had this phobia I bet you a hundred percent that you would feel like your life was out of control. It's scary to wake up in the morning knowing this fear will determine my everyday actions. That I don't really fully control my life, that it controls what I do instead," you sighed out, staightening your back as you turn to look at him. The words pouring out as if they've been locked in so long- that now they finaly get a chance to breathe.
"I would love to go to the mall, out to public places with my friends. I wish I could hang out at dances with people like a normal girl. I wish I didn't have to stay in my house all the time and wear millions of layers when I go out, even if its burning hot. But I can't, because I can't touch people. Because in my mind iv'e made this thing bigger then it really is and I've let it consue me. To the point where I cant even do the things I want to do. I can't garentee I wont have human contact in any way physically by someone. That I might have an arm brush against me while walking, and have a panic attack in public. I don't want to go to the hospital again...I will never go there again. So the eating and the sleeping, it's actually something I control. I can choose if I don't want to sleep, I can choose if I don't want to eat. So if there's something, at least one thing in my life that I can control, then ill sure as hell do whatever the fuck I want with it for once."
