Journey towards Acceptance

What do you Think?

Lana woke up and was surprised to see that Jude was not sleeping next to her. She looked around but her lover was nowhere to be found. She laid back in bed thinking Jude might have some business to attend to when moments later Jude appears on the door holding a tray with food.

"Good morning sweetheart" said Jude sitting next to Lana and placing the tray in between them. "What are your thoughts on breakfast in bed?"

"Good morning" Lana yawned and stretched her arms. She turned to look at Jude and sat on the bed excited "I think it is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me and I know for a fact that I have the best girlfriend in the world."

Jude giggled at Lana's comment "I literally did nothing of importance"

"Nothing? First of all, food is important, even more so for a person that loves food but cannot cook to safe her life. Secondly, you are here with me instead of letting me eat on my own. I can clearly see I overslept, it is 10am and you must have starved yourself since you woke up at 6am"

"I had coffee and crackers. That was good enough to keep me alive until you woke up."

"Exactly my point. You are very special." She kissed Jude lovingly and turned to look at the food "Shall we?"

"You bet, I am starving" They both laughed at Jude's comment and then started eating.

Once they were done eating and were both dressed, Jude decided to ask a question but didn't know how Lana would take it. "Lana, don't get this the wrong way but how could you write a column about food when you know nothing about it?"

Lana laughed at the question "That is a question I used to ask myself every single day."

"No but really, if you are as bad as you say you are then how?"

"I can tell this has been bugging you for a while." Lana continued to laugh and caused Jude to laugh with her. "But the truth is, my best friend was a chef and he taught me everything I need to know. When I first told him about the column I was assigned he laughed hysterically, but then once he noticed I wasn't joking he assured me he would help me." Lana's eyes were teary from the memories.

"What did he do?"

"He wrote down every recipe he knew and was taught at college and throughout the years I've met and interviewed many of the chefs he recommended. He didn't want me to fail at my first job. The first days after I came out to my parents were a rollercoaster. My girlfriend at the time got scared as to what reaction her parents would have so she broke up with me and I didn't have the money to support myself, so he let me stay with him until I had enough money to support myself."

Lana was crying but smiled at how lucky she was to have such a good friend in her life. Jude held her close. "What happened to him?" she whispered.

"He died 5 years ago."

"I am so sorry Lana"

"I could have been at the hospital with him at his final hour but I was called at work. When I finally got to the hospital he was gone. I couldn't even be with my best friend when he needed me most. The nurse told me he was looking for me. He left a letter apologizing for leaving me behind and writing some numbers down. Much later I discovered they were chefs at high class restaurants. Even when he was dying he thought about my work and me. When he died I was in such a state of shock I couldn't cry. I was depressed for the next year and I harmed myself trying to get closer to him everyday, but I never cut too deep. I never thought about it before but on the one year anniversary of his death it hit me. The night before he died he told me to live for the both of them and from then on, I never let anyone put me down or harm myself anymore. I had to survive, that's what he would have wanted. And this is the first time I told someone about it, I even think this is the first time I actually cried for his death."