My gift to humanity (a rant book)

Mr.Kissmyass

BITCH GUESS WHO HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD (not me,still dead as ever)
Okay so as I've promised in the previous chapter I'm going to write a chapter about my Physics teacher.
WELL HERE IT FUCKING IS.
Where do I start,bitches?

Okay we're getting to the hot shit right at the beginning.

1.)A history of violence.
Bitch
Bitch
BITCH
Let's ignore all the tantrums he threw LITERALLY every period.
I mean they were justified as we were little annoying cunts but PREPARE.
BEWARE THE DANGERS OF A WEASEL LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER.
So we had this boy in our class who was one hell of a sassy bitch.(he's at a different school now #rip (he literally broke his locker because I'm in Slytherin))
I actually really like physics but this period had been especially boring since we were talking about generators or some shit.
So this guy I was talking about,let's name him Cedric,was talking to his friends or some shit idk anymore.
OUR PHYSICS TEACHER LITERALLY ( I MEAN LITERALLY IN THE LITERAL MEANING NOT IN THE BASIC WHITE GIRL MEANING ) WALKS UP TO HIM,NO FUCKING RUNS UP TO HIM AND BITCHES GUESS WHAT.
He picked up Cedric's physics book as if he wanted to take a swing at him and stopped right in front of his face.
BITCH WHAT
BITCH WHO
I mean when it comes to hitting students Snape is clearly the king but DAMN

2.) Takes LITERALLY more than a year to read a 250p book
I guess this one wouldn't be that bad if half of the book weren't pictures but okay.
As said,I do indeed love Physics and I had just bought this AMAZING book about black holes and talked with said teacher,let's name him Mr.Im50andstilllivewithmymum,okay probably not( he really still does btw (and I'm not judging because literally me with 50)),let's just call him Albert or smthn like that.
ANYWAY,he asked to borrow the book and I said:"Yeah sure Albert whatever,as long as I get extra credit everything's fine bro"
So I bring him the book and long story short
He needed over a year to finish the book.
Not as dramatic as I hoped it to be but meh.

3.)Conclusion?
I guess he was pretty okay but he would have been better of as a Physicist instead of a teacher.
I mean he literally asked me if I was self-conscious like okay wtf chill,but he was pretty nice.
And he looked like weasel.
Yeah okay that's LITERALLY it.
Bye bitch
(I'm not proofreading this chapter cuz fuck spelling and I'm tired and hungry)