Cougar Love - Sequel to Cougar Boss

Chapter 5

When I left the penthouse, I wasn't really sure where I was going. I just knew I needed to be as far away from there as possible. It was hard walking away from Amelia, but I was in desperate need of space.

I'd thought we could finally be happy together. We were just three months in and already there was a threat to our happiness. Why did it always have to happen like this?

I was in an Uber for almost ten minutes when the driver asked me for an address. I wanted to tell him to drive up to my apartment in the city, but heard myself utter the location to my old apartment in Astoria.

When I was standing outside the old building, I relived the life I'd had there and instead of feeling nostalgic, I was just sad. I walked upstairs to my apartment and opened the door to find everything in place as I'd left it.

It was hard to believe everything in that apartment had once been my entire life and one day, I'd picked up and walked away, only to go back and be reminded how easily things could go wrong and land me right back where I'd started. Once, not too long ago, this had been everything I'd needed and as long as rent had been paid and I'd had food in my stomach, it'd been more than enough.

I walked over to my couch and sat down, covering myself with a blanket knowing I was home. That feeling made me wonder if I'd ever truly been comfortable living in Amelia's world. Everything in it had been hers but everything in this little room was mine. Still, there was that hollow space within me which Amelia occupied.

I'd known things wouldn't be easy from the very beginning, but I'd let myself get caught up in the whirlwind adventure of being with someone so different from me. I'd always known at some point I'd catch a break, which made me realize if I'd never gone to work for Mrs. Gallagher, I'd have still been in that apartment, or gotten another job and probably moved.

My brother would've been alive; Riley would've had a father and my parents a son. I never would've gotten shot, which meant I wouldn't have been sitting there with shrapnel slowly tearing through my insides. I wouldn't have had a chance to... meet and get to know this remarkable woman.

Instead, I would've been struggling with school and loans, probably working shitty jobs just to get by, Rex would've probably taken longer to break into the art industry and I never would've truly known my own strength.

If it'd been up to me, I would've preferred to have my brother alive. Not getting shot would've been nice and being with Mrs. Gallagher without all the complications getting in the way would've been even better. But I didn't control my destiny, much as the forces of the universe taking me down any path I found myself in. I couldn't change anything.

Meeting Amelia had been one of the most incredible things to ever happen to me. Loving her had come by so easily even when she'd rejected me and broken my heart, and even now, I still loved her with all of my heart; but that was the problem, wasn't it?

It always seemed to come at a price; with chaos attached to it. It wasn't like I could help myself and stop. She was a tornado, always pulling me in and I was helpless against her. Look at where it had landed me this time.

If she'd never handed Price Healthcare over to me, would Jonah have cared about my relationship with her? I'd known I'd receive some backlash, but I'd never intended to face off against her son. That was a fight I couldn't win. Even the rules were designed to favor him in any outcome.

Amelia prioritized her family over anything else, that was one thing I'd come to learn throughout my time with her. It was sweet because that made her a wonderful parent, but where did it leave me?

I'd gotten on the Price Healthcare rollercoaster so quickly, I'd never stopped to consider there being something or someone who could kick me off it. The idea hurt considering how hard I'd worked and how much I'd managed to get done in such a short period of time.