Haunting Ghosts

Chapter 1 - The End

PUZZLES, puzzles. Why am I always the Jigsaw piece that doesn't fit? The one chewed up by the dog or shoved into place when it has to be. The one lion in the pack that could never bite. The only snake to live outside of the grass.

Well this'll show them. This'll make all the pain from the inside rise up and get thrusted in to the open like an art piece from a gallery. So many colours, so many thoughts. Why? Why did I do it? That's what they'll be wondering, asking each other, turning on their loved ones. Cutting out each others tongues to get their own fantasy explanations out.

Two steps forward. One step back. It's opposite day for me.

I hope John doesn't take this too personally. He was the only one I loved. The only teddy in the group of bears. I wish he didn't have to be like this. I wish their was some other way to show them. But this is my last attempt. My last chance to show them what I am made of. One final fall to push them off their thrones, built by backstabbing and superficial whispers. Whispers like blades. Blades like a poison. Poison like a cure.

Oh how I long for this to end. So I can fall into nothingness like the pillow of a hard days work. No more endless thoughts of worry. No more checking behind me for another jester with a knife, searching for the bullseye that seems to be painted on my back. No more them.

John will tell them. He'll tell them all of my troubles and how they became the distance between me and my antidote. John was always a good friend. A best friend. There for me in my worst of times, there for me in my best. He wasn't one of those fickle, aesthetic types. Oh no. John was always there for me. He must understand this is something I have to do. He will understand, he has to.

This is it now, the first and only step I take towards release. The final contradicting push to send me over the edge. The first and only step towards the concrete key of my once unbreakable chains.