Parties & Tattoos; Kethany

Twenty Seven

Kian's Pov/

A video recently has been leaked on me from when I was younger. Being young & uneducated I said some harsh words that I regret & wish that never came out. Living & learning is something I'll always live by.

All I have been doing I hiding out in my room alone. Occasionally crying because I lost my job & the respect of my fans that we're affected by the language. Words cannot express how upset I feel. I don't even want my roommates to see me because I feel awful. Beth has been non stop calling me, Jc, Ricky. I don't wanna face people.

I get up from my bed to use the bathroom, my phone keeps ringing from either twitter or messages. The hashtag #kianisoverparty is popping up constantly but also the #kianisNOToverparty as well. My fans don't have to stick up for me but I know they know that I was young & grew up to be mature & understanding.

From: Beth ❤️🌹
Stop beating yourself up baby. It was your past. I know you cannot erase it but you can add on. I know the person you are, & that's why I'm in love with you kian. ❤️

I lock my phone & get into the shower. I know I can't continue this way but it's only fair. I hurt people. I deserve to hurt as well. Locked away.

I get out the shower. & lay down staring at the wall. I haven't seen Bethany in days, because I haven't responded to anything. I eat when everyone leaves. I have been locked in this room for days.

Missed call from Beth ❤️🌹

I begin to shed a tear. I'm effecting my relationship with my girlfriend. My friendships with my best friends. My relationship with my fans. What's life.

I grab my phone & dial Beth's number.

"Hello. Kian." She says lightly.

I instantly begin to cry.

"Baby. Talk to me. You can't hide away." She days softly as her voice comforts my soul.

"It's. My. Only choice." I say in between sobs.

"I'm on my way." She says as she hangs up & I stuff my face into my pillow.

Minutes go by as my room door flys open, as I'm sitting on my bed with my face buried in my hands.

"Kian." Beth says as she walks over to be kneeling on the ground.

"You know who you are. Don't let your past define you." She says as I look at her & she wipes my tears.

"I messed up years ago. It's hurting my life." I say as she stands up.

"Key word, years ago. You're not that person. You've grown. If people don't see that, they don't know who you really are." She says as she kisses my forehead.

"I've been locked in this room for days Bethany. I haven't been responding to your calls or messages. I've been staring at walls." I say as she takes her shoes off & lays on my bed.

"Well. Let's do it together. I don't want you to feel like this alone. I love you. I want to protect you." She says as I cuddle her & close my eyes trying to remember the days before this mess.

~ Flashback.

"Damn." I smile as Beth gets up from the bed & walks into the bathroom.

"You could call it, congrats sex." She winks at me as I put back on my clothes.

"I've booked one of the most amazing roles in a big movie." I say, feeling so surreal.

She begins to shower as I sit at my desk on my computer as my Twitter floods with tweets.

Twitter user: you're a fucking racist @kianlawley 👎🏻

What the hell is all I could think. Then the video pops up. A seventeen year old me. Uneducated, high school drop out, thought that moving with a bunch of guys would help me become successful. Just like that, my success would be grabbed back.

"Kian?" Beth says as she slips on her flower romper & walks to my desk.

She begins watching the video along with me & her eyes widen.

"Kian." She says as her voice stutters.

"It was years ago. I was seventeen. I regret it." I say as I stand up with my hands over my head.

"Why would you do that. Let someone film it, let alone let those words slip out of your mouth." She says as she steps closer to me.

"Don't come near me." I say as she looks confusingly at me.

"You said those words not me. Don't spin this on me. I get it, you were young Kian. You have to face it, you grew up, you learn. You need to apologize to those you hurt, or didn't even hurt."

"Of course I am sorry Bethany. I'm not blaming anyone but myself, that's me. Not you in that video. Just get the fuck out. Just leave." I say as I sit at my computer.

Beth grabs her things & slams the door as I begin throwing things across my room. Punching the wall, as blood comes out of my knuckles.

I'm over.

//