deeply

100

d e e p l y
(edited 2/13/18)

deep in these poems, if you look hard enough, you can see a piece of me one by one
and they're separate and mixed up and about so many different people but that's me i'm twisted up and so is this book i've pulled from the small locket chest of my heart so please tell me you read it with care and smiled at my sadness instead of frowned because these emotions keep me going
they're the reason i'm still writing
and writing is the reason i'm still alive
deeply

the title of this book was a word that i've been described as a lot and maybe it's true
maybe my thoughts are more deep than others, resembling the grand canyon with all its curves and changes and i've stopped thinking of it as a curse because it's just how my eyes view things
deeply

i'm still struggling
i'm still hurting
i'm still thinking about the girl i had to let go and the boy that gripped my heart and the new one who is gently holding it in the palm of his hand
i'm still a mess
and that's okay
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my goodbyes are never good
they are filled with misery and tears and lies of
i won't miss you
and while my poetry isn't over
this book thats followed me for almost a year is
it's done
i'm done with it
this is a closing chapter to a part of my life i started at the late of night during summer and it's hard
harder than it should be
because i grow attach to things too easily and i hope too frequently so i'm still working on myself
and that means more, more of everything
just you wait
deeply

i forced these poems out of me so others could see the things i still can't even show some of my
closest friends
it has filled it's purpose for you and
for me
so this is me, alyssa, signing off
deeply