"i truly do believe that sometimes people need to fall apart in order to fall back together, david."
"jason, can you say that bullshit one more time," i say, adding an eye roll.
"david, im just trying to help. heartbreak is hard, but it gets better."
"can you just shut the fuck up?"
"david-"
"just get out."
i don't tend to get angry but the past few days haven't been all that easy. jason knew i was hurting and i knew he was just trying help but it wasn't the same without her. i didn't want to talk to anybody except her. i didn't want anybody to touch me except her. i didn't want to live with anybody except her. the way we split was pretty pathetic. she did it so easily, as if she had given up ages ago.
~five days ago~
"hey babe do you think you could come over later today?" i heard from my phone.
"of course. anything for you," and then she laughed. a really forced laugh i might add. that should've been my first sign.
"okay, see you later," and then the second sign. no 'i love you' or 'see you soon, bubba'.
but i didn't even notice. i was too busy getting excited about seeing her. she would be pulling up in her driveway any minute now, so i grabbed my backpack and camera on my way out the door. i had a smile on my face the entire way to her house. it didn't vanish until i saw her face when she opened the door.
her face looked stoned over, emotionless, cold. not liza.
"uhm, so david i want to talk," i raised an eyebrow but continued to walk forward into her house.
"okay, whats bothering you, babe," she winces at the last word. i was so confused as to what was going on.
"heres the thing..." she fades off, looking like she might cry but she pulls herself together, "i think we should take a break, or something. i don't know, we just don't have time for each other and it just feels like we're loosing what we have."
i was stunned. i didn't say anything for two minutes. just stood there like a fucking idiot.
"liza-"
"david, i've thought about this for awhile and i think its really what we need."
i didn't say another word. i didn't protest. just walked out the door and drove away as fast as i could. i regret it more than anything, leaving the way i did. i could've convinced her we didn't need a break. that we we're doing fine just the way things were.
i pulled into the driveway and turned off the car with no intentions of getting out. instead i started pounding on the steering wheel causing the horn to go off several times. i stopped honking after a minute or two. i filled the empty silence with loud cries. i'd never cried so hard and for so long in my entire life. not when my grandpa died. not on the way over to america when i was five. not when i broke my foot in second grade. i would rather go back and live those days over and over and over again before ever living this day.
i didn't get any sleep that night. i cried and watched old videos of us. i would normally tell her if anything was wrong but that was no longer an option.
it hadn't even been a full day and i was already missing her.
~~
i hear a knock on my door.
"david?"
"what?"
"its kristen."
what the hell was she doing here- wait oh. oh!
i got up and quickly opened my bedroom door. i scanned the area around her to see if liza was here. she wasn't.
"david, hello?" she said while waving her hand in front of my face.
"uhm yea whats up?"
"i just wanted to check up on you."
"i'm doing fine, i guess."
"cool," she was looking down at her feet, wanting to pop to question but not knowing how to. so i did it for her.
"how is she?"
"she misses you. a lot, david. and when i say a lot i mean a lot. she hasn't gone to set for five days. she's a mess and i don't know what to do. she won't listen to me. she won't let me help her. david, no matter how many times she says that she doesn't need you, she does. bad."
so i wasn't the only one going through a lot of pain right now.
"i can't believe she's missing filming days over this. she's the one who thought of the idea. did you know that? she would barely let me fight against. and now she's a wreck? maybe she should've thought that through a little better."
"david, i know what she did wasn't the best thing, but she hates herself for it. please talk to her. i've run out of ways to help and i don't like seeing her like this."
"i'll think about it."
"thank you," and then she turned around and left.
~four months later~
i never went over to lizas that day. i got into my car several times just to end up going back inside. i did that for a week before finally deciding that if i could live without her for a week, i could live without out her for months, years even. kristen came over a lot, trying to change my mind, but those visits had stopped a long time ago. liza had started filming again and liza on demand is coming out tonight. i'm going to watch it, i know how hard she worked on it. she put everything into that show.
her fans were overly excited about it. my timeline was filled with tweets about it. but her fans (and mine) were also very concerned about the lack of content we had been giving out about each other. we didn't announce our break up or anything. we kept in on the down low, hoping it would just blow over. yet here we are four months later with tweets about us never being together showing up in our mentions. the doorbell interrupted my thoughts.
i went to the front door, not caring to look up through the glass door. i opened the door and talked before looking up.
"hey, how can i he-" she was here. she was on my front steps, right in front of me. this is my first time seeing her in person in four months. and in this moment i realized just how much i missed her.
"i was wondering if you wanted to hang out as like friends or something. liza on demand comes out tonight and maybe we could watch it togeth-"
i stopped her sentence by connecting our lips. more like smashing them together but she still kissed back. we separated, both of us needing to breathe. we still held on to each other, afraid one of us would leave again. my arms were around her waist and hers were wrapped around my neck. we stood there for a minute or two, our noses pressed together, just breathing.
"so what were you saying about tonight?"
