Holding on (Vampire Diaries~Enzo)

Chapter 4: Darkness of Nothing

~ Darkness of Nothing ~

15 April 1950 ~ Ruby

 

Another day passed and again, I wasn’t taken for torture and neither was Enzo. When I asked him about it, he told me it was rare, but it happened from time to time. When he said that this morning he had this weird look in his eyes. I didn’t ask though. I don’t know why. Maybe I am afraid for the answer.

Either way I am glad. No torture for either of us and now I don’t have to be alone for the entire day. And I like talking to Enzo – I found out his real name is Lorenzo – for the simple reason that it gave me something to do. I can’t imagine how he must have felt when there was no one here. In this part there are only three cellars and he told me they were rarely all occupied. I wonder how many vampires had been locked up in this exact cell with the same fate as me. I wonder if they wanted to die. I wonder if I want to die.

What if I get out of here? Who is going to be happy I’m back? Who is going to run into my arms and cry tears of happiness with the words ‘I missed you’? Yes, exactly. No one.

My family is long gone and so is Eric. Maybe he would be happy if I died, even though I would break my promise. No, I wouldn’t. If I died here, it wasn’t my fault.

But no, I don’t want to die. There is no guaranty that I can spend my after life with Eric and also no guaranty I’ll find peace. I don’t want to die when I’m not sure of that. The least I can do is help Enzo plot our great escape and try. At least for him.

Suddenly I realize he has been talking to me. We had been talking about our great escape as we now called it, but I got wrapped up in my thoughts.

Now Enzo is snapping his fingers in front of my eyes and I snap out of my daze.

‘Hello, princess, stay focused. I need to plan my wicked and totally brilliant plan and I need you to stay with me.’ He says with a smirk on his face and I feel my cheeks flush bright red. Then his smirk fades and he looks at me with intense brown eyes I almost forget where I am and what I’m doing.

‘What were you thinking?’ he asks and I know he had caught my thoughts and emotions. Vampires can’t read thoughts, but we can feel emotions much better than humans. It is sort of a sixth sent. Witches have it too and even some humans can feel it. But with vampires, everything is heightened; emotions, pain, senses and much more.

When I remember what I was thinking, I don’t want to tell him. So I tell him a part of the truth – though I feel guilty for lying to him.

‘I’m just afraid the plan will fail that’s all.’  I say and I try to hide my feelings the best I can. Enzo has been trying to find freedom for so long – no idea how long – and it seems selfish to tell him that I’m not sure if I want to live. Not that I’m thinking of suicide, not at all, but I don’t want to tell him. I hate being selfish.

‘It won’t.’ Enzo reassures me with so much conviction that I almost believe him. But as with any plan, so many things can go wrong and I don’t want to find out what will happen to us when our escape plan blows up in our faces. If Dr. Whitmore won’t get rid of us and order Mathew to find new test subjects, he will make the torture worse and he will cut down our already small bit of blood.

‘Look we will think of a good plan. I mean, we have plenty of time.’ Enzo jokes to make me feel better and well, it sort of works. Even in the short period of time he has known me, he seems to know exactly how to cheer me up and I’m grateful for that.

‘Enzo…’ I start a bit hesitant. ‘How long have you been here?’

He is silent for a minute and I see his expression change into something that makes me wish I didn’t ask. I see so much emotion crossing his face and want to take it away or at least take my question back. But I have to know. He clears his throat and looks to his hand, clearly embarrassed he let his emotions show. You could say that is a vampire thing.