Guilty | FMA

Chapter Four

Hey! 4th chappie edited, whoop whoop! This was edited the same day as chapter 3. Enjoy, and I hope I've made this book more satisfactory so far!!

~FullmetalOtaku

***

"Brother," I call, walking outside to the small blonde-haired boy beneath the tree. "Winry wants you!"

It's been a while since our little chat at the lake, and I've been realizing that I've become more drawn to [y/n]. She was just so gorgeous, in every single way. Her eyes, and their sparkling charm. The way she smiles when she speaks to people. How she treats me like a true friend.

Sometimes, I found myself thinking about her before I could stop myself.

Brother looks up from his reverie, and smiles. He stands, and I marvel at how he could snap out of thought that fast just to see Winry. I couldn't help but notice how the two of them were becoming extremely close. I'm not exactly sure.

I watch as he goes inside, and feel a bit of excitement as [y/n] came out. But, she was coming so fast towards me I didn't have time to react.

No! I think, as she collides against me and we fall back. No, my head!

It was far too late to cover up now. As I fall to the ground, I watch as my helmet lands next to us. As [y/n] stops struggling to get off of me, blushing, despair creeps into my mind as fear creeps into her eyes. She was scared.

"Y-you don't have a head!" she points out, and I sit up. She sits in front of me, and I sigh, reaching for my head. I couldn't ever feel more dejected about something than I did now.

"Yeah yeah, it's been like that for a while," I mumble, attaching it on my shoulders. "I don't have a body, either."

"What!?" [y/n] looked more surprised than scared, but I didn't get my hopes up. I normally scared everyone else. But, the thought of scaring her out of my life was what broke my heart into pieces.

"This armor is empty," I say, thumping on my chestplate for more effect. Oh yeah, the echoing was really what helped prove my point. "I'm really just a soul...."

[y/n] blinks, and I gasp as excitement lights up in her eyes. What the freak is she doing!? What does she think!? Why do I care so much!?

"Really!?" she squeals. "OO that's so cool! Is it alchemy?! What's it like!? Whoa I've never seen anything like it~!"

"It is alchemy...." I clarify, unsure of what questions to cover first. Slowly, I take off my helmet again and bend down so she could see inside. Her eyes light up even more, and I flinch a bit.

"See that circle?" I point out. "That's my Blood Seal, or my 'soul.' It's the only thing that keeps me tied down to the armor."

"And it's drawn in blood!" [y/n] points out the obvious, her excitement bursting in the air. "Alphonse that's so awesome!"

If I could, I would be blushing my face off right now. I wasn't sure what to think of her reaction, because I've honestly been dreading the day she'd find out. But, apparently, I had nothing to fear.

I put my helmet on, and decide to finish answering her questions. She just seemed to excited about it.

"It's weird, being like this," I say. "I can't eat, sleep, I don't need to breathe...and I can't feel."

[y/n] looks at me, her [e/c] eyes sparkling in the sun. She didn't seem as excited, but she wasn't freaked out. What the heck! If I had to decide what facial expression she had, it would be sadness.

"So you can't feel, this?" she asks, taking my hand and holding it. I sigh sadly. I do want to feel her hand in mine, honestly. But unfortunately, I couldn't.

"Nope," I reply, without letting all my subsequent thoughts spill out. It'd be a waste if I did so, and if she wasn't frightened now, she definitely would be then.

Because I think I may have grown to love her. But I'm not sure how to deal with those feelings.

[A/N Crona much!? (Haha see what I did there?)]

"Oh..." she sighs. "It must be hard, huh?" Oh believe me, [y/n]. It is. But, I was grateful that she understood that it was difficult for me. Then I don't seem so selfish, despite the fact that I am.

"Yeah, but, it's sort of my fault that I ended up like this," I admit shakily, voice frowning. "So, I can find a way to live with it..." I didn't seem so certain. I wasn't.

"You don't have to," [y/n] informs me softly. "You don't have to, if you don't want to. And how could it ever be your fault? No one would ever want this fate."

"Well...there's a story behind this." I sigh quietly, and decide to continue. "When my brother and I were young, we lost our mom and tried to bring her back with Human Transmutation. It rebounded...and I lost my body. Brother lost his leg, and even though he was dying, he brought me back for the cost of his arm."

[y/n] stares at the ground quietly, tears welling up in her eyes. No. No! I can't make her cry! What kind of person am I, to make her cry that way?! Why am I so awful?!

Slowly, catching me off guard, she raises her sleeve from her wrist. Instead of a flesh arm, I see pure metal. Automail. But, why would she have it?

"Alphonse, I left so much things out at that lake," she chokes out. "Because I was afraid that you'd just me. So, very, afraid. I know much more than I claimed to have known."

I sniffle, because the tears sliding down [y/n]'s face made my soul want to do the same. Her sadness brought out mine. I don't want her to be sad. I don't want her to cry.

"I did what was forbidden, too," she hiccups. "I tried to bring back my baby sister. That's why my parents left, was because I was a shame to them. The homunculi began chasing me when one that looked just like her joined the group. I lost my arm. Al, I had no idea that you'd understand, a-and that's why I didn't tell you."

"[y-y/n]..." Is all I can manage. "I'm not angry with you. I could never be angry with you. A-and I do understand. What angers me is that those monsters would target you."

[y/n] bursts into tears, and I gingerly set an arm around her. She sniffles and cries, grabbing my arm and cuddling it. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

"I-I'm so glad you're here." As she sniffs, I feel myself melt inside at those words. She's glad that I'm here. She's also the first person to say that to me. Someone, out in this world, is glad that I'm in their life.

"But I don't want to get you hurt," she finishes. I turn, and full on hug her. As gently as a suit of armor could. I couldn't help it. Whenever I saw her crying face, my heart broke.

"If I were to get hurt. It would be worth it, for you. I refuse to leave you because of the small chance I could get hurt. You know why? Because you, [y/n], are worth it."