Guilty | FMA

Chapter Five

Hello! I am seriously feeling this book right now! Or, so I assume, since this is the 3rd edit I've done today. I hope that some of you are re-reading this at the time, because I haven't quite gotten through all of book yet. But if you haven't, that's okay! This book is just starting to become longer... so when you start getting update noties, that's when you shall turn around!

~Fullmetal Otaku

***

It's been about two weeks since [y/n] found out. I have to say, she was acting so normal about it. She didn't say a single thing about it, and every time I saw her, that bright smile was still upon her face. That smile I loved so much.

I had to admit, it was sort of strange to know that she's been through what's she's been through. Such a rough, awful past. One that was oh-so-similar to my own. This must be how she felt, as well. It was just...different. But different was never bad to me.

I sigh quietly and set down yet another book. It was late, but not late enough for people to start going to bed. I believe it was just after dinner, but I'm not sure. I don't normally stick around for meals, because it gets so awkward, and I don't think I quite enjoy that feeling. Where so many people are looking at me with pitiful glances.

Standing, I look around the deserted room that Brother and I share. Then, I make my way downstairs to see what everyone was up to. Don't ask why, because the reasons are sort of personal...but I don't find myself around people. Isolating myself was just something in my nature, which is why I didn't have many friends.

"Brother?" I call out, looking around. "Winry? Anyone at all?" No one replied, in fact, it was far too silent for it to be the same house. There's always at least one person screaming at someone else, and when it was quiet, they were fighting.

Yes, I mean Brother and Winry when I say 'someone' and 'they.' The two of them were always fighting, which is how, I believe, they show their affections. I wish I had someone to show my love to...

I mean, I did love [y/n], in a way. She was the closest friend I had, besides Brother. And I really did enjoy being with her... But I didn't love her in THAT way! So don't get the wrong idea!

[A/N: he really DOES love you that way!! Alphonse, you little scamp! Al: *blushes* they didn't need to know that! Me: you're so cute!! Al: *blushes even more* b-back to the story! *mumbles* you're embarrassing me...]

When I stop outside the door to Winry's room, I hear muffled sounds. Small noises, and quiet bumps against the wall. Puzzled, I slowly open the door. What I saw, was one of the most strange scenes I've ever walked upon.

Winry's lips were locked upon Brother's, with his hands on her hips and making their way up her back. Winry completely obliged to his kiss, and I felt a small amount of jealousy arise within me. He really did love her. And he was able to kiss her.

Suddenly, they break apart and see me standing awkwardly. I continue to just stand, feeling so awkward, looking down on them. My height made it easy to see everything from above, and I hated it. I hated the way they all looked up at me, it made me feel so out of place. So as they do that now, I couldn't help but be a bit angry. I'm not sure why. Everything was just surfacing now.

Everything. Each and every hated part of my emotions. Why? Did I hold it in for too long? I felt as if I could explode, and scream each and every feeling I've had.

Do you have any idea how long I've kept my emotions to myself? Since I got in this body. That's 4 years. 4 years, no one listened to me. They didn't think anything was wrong, so why would they do so? They couldn't see it. Not even I could see it.