Gwen and her three knights

The first of many wake up calls

"Seriously who stole my shampoo again?!"

A voice rings loudly in the pit that is the apartment block at 2 am on a Wednesday morning. The aftermath of the sounds rings hollow against the cheap plaster wall. A cacophony of inhuman sounds follows. Many incoherent complaints and shrieks to the air.

One coherent reply rises above the rest.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole!"

There are also furious thumps at walls, in retaliation at being woken up way too early for the uni student to function in the wee hours of the morning. Some people just came back. Other people have classes. 2 is too cruel of an hour to start a performance in the shower and effectively grousing the entire floor.

"I need shampoo~," the voice still singsongs, though less in loudness and intensity, but annoyingly still loud in their own apartment.

The facts

- Anderson Enriquez enjoys and prioritises these specific things in life: his appearance, his friends' appearances when they are near him, his dogs, the availability of sugared Nutella donuts at the campus cafe, being able to belt high notes in the showers consistently at 5.30 in the morning and waking the people in his apartment up at 7 o'clock every morning because he can

- He's the reason why people started 1) sleeping way too early 2) buying noise-cancelling headphones 3)filing out complaints to the Dean and legal aid

He nudges Gwen, a small thing, a precious bean, with his socked foot and steps back as she gathers the blanket around her and rolls off to her right, hair wrapping around her face and neck.

"Gwen," he waits.

"No," is the answer, "leave me and my blanket burrito alone."

"You have a class."

"In two hours. You woke me up. I'm not moving."

Someone walks into the door to Gwen's room. Anderson spares Kaito a passing glance, the guy struggling to keep himself upright, elbows slipping down like his declining sleep hours, courtesy of being woken up on a regular basis of three times every night and into the next morning.

Cohen is in the kitchen, fuelled by the pure and filtered force of caffeine (in the form of a shot, with a little or a lot of Red Bull thrown in). He's wielding a spatula and he's cursing Anderson from his ancestors to the banana tree his aunt is growing back in the Philippines.

"Lovely morning, right everyone?" Anderson lets out a refreshing exhale, not even bothering with the varying levels of death glares in the room. "There is an imminent question I need to ask," he grins, almost maniacal, "which fucker took my shampoo?"

Gwen hits an immovable object, the wall, in her escape attempt and groans, something vaguely non-English and the grocery list she wrote last night. Cohen muffles the scream he's about to unleash on them with the slap he deems appropriate as a response in not screaming. It's a loud slap.

Kaito may be sleep-deprived but he's woken up by the instinctive DNA wiring of care inside of him, eyes widening and asking Anderson where he saw his shampoo last and did anyone see it yesterday.

"Threw it in the bin," Gwen grunts, "thing ran out on Monday."

"Oh, right, yeah," Anderson slaps a fist onto his palm, "I threw it out."

There are three things that occur one after the other in the next second:

1. Kaito lets out a burdensome and heartrending sigh, so tired that Cohen spares him two pats from the flat end of his spatula, murmuring "It's not your problem"

2. Gwen sits up and crawls under her desk

3. Cohen reaches back and hurls the spatula at Anderson's back, screaming curses in Korean and English, the most prominent being "You asshole!"

Group chat: gwen and her three knights

andy: i apologised for everything

coco: what a bloody shame

gwen: Let him in, he's served his time

coco: okay first of all

coco: hes a fkcing menace

coco: second of all

coco: he needs to reflect on his sins

coco: and third

coco: u dont even live here

coco: go home or smthing

kai or caleb??: His henchmen are cornering me

kai or caleb??: How do I say no to people

gwen: You're asking me like I have a solution

kai or caleb??: I'm open to suggestions and potential solutions

andy: if u let me in

kai or caleb??: I'm sure Chris doesn't mind lending you his couch for a few more days

kai or caleb??: You'll live

gwen: Yeah tough luck mate, Kai's granted his words, you're outta here

andy: IT WAS A REASONABLE RESPONSE OKAY??

coco: i cannot believe u sent ur minions to harass kai

coco: wat a pest

gwen: The scum of society

kai or caleb??: It has turned out they are fans of mine

kai or caleb??: Anderson you're on probation if you bring back nutritious food at 4

coco: for a moment there i thot i jnew peace

gwen: I'm not coming over tonight?

coco: wat a blessing

andy: BOO

andy: stop bullying the baby

coco: im fuelled by pure hate im spiteful at anything binch

kai or caleb??: I had just been gifted with brownie but I don't know if they're filled with nasty things or not

andy: one way to find out

gwen: If someone dies can I sell all of your things

coco: i volunteer anderson

andy: i volunteer ur brother u stupid ass sht

kai or caleb??: Kayla ate it for me

kai or caleb??: She is fortunately okay

andy: so is my sentence absolved yet

kai or caleb??: Probably

gwen: You weak man, you

kai or caleb??: Remember the food

coco: ur on thin fucking ice u vagabond

andy: oh what a threat im so petrified

gwen: If you kill him you can't be a barrister

coco: watch me