Escaping From Within

Chapter 1

Three weeks later
Shae

   I could feel my stomach turning as if my babies were begging for me to feed them. I just needed them to be a little more patient for me at least while I wait for the doctor to give me more news about Cutty. It had been weeks
since Cutty was shot in  some old run down bar on the other side of town. I didn't know who shot him or why he was shot and I honestly didn't care I just wanted him to survive. He had an emergency surgery the night of that might of saved his life, I mean he was alive but he wasn't exactly responding to me. This past weeks had been a complete wreck for me after finding my husband laid up in the hospital and loosing aunt and almost my niece on the same day. I felt like I was about to completely loose my damn mind and the only thing that was keeping me sane was my fucking babies.
      Sometimes through the night I would find myself craving for a fat blunt or a wine Black a mile. I was so stressed out that I feared of going into an early labor. I pray consistently that god just watch over the four of us. I forced myself to eat healthy even if it came back up at least I tried for my babies. I just had so many questions about so many different things like; why would MiMi try to take her own life or why would someone try to kill Cutty. Hell I even wondered what the fuck I was going to do about Marlow and Amari. Don't get me wrong I was enjoying our three way relationship and our extended family but when I made the decision to marry Cutty I knew I had to own up to my vows. I had been dodging Marlow calls and him for weeks for the simple fact I didn't know how to even began to explain the situation. I honestly don't think he would even care to understand the bond Cutty and I will forever share. Call me a dumb bitch or even call me stupid but I call it LOYALTY.  No I was not going to leave Cutty side when he's vulnerable like this. I promised to stick by him even when he down and out.
     "Hi Mrs. Birchfeild, how are you today" asked an older Caucasian man who looked to be pushing sixty or seventy. "I'll be better when I get my update on my husband" I responded anxiously and impatiently. My leg shook uncontrollably while I tried to embrace myself and prepare to hear the worst. "Your husband may not ever walk again and yes he is able to hear you but he won't talk until he gets ready." He said with a sad look. "Can I see him?" I asked getting out my chair and grabbing my pocket book before he could answer me. "I don't see why not" he said with a smile. While he led the way to his room I followed on the back of his heels. As I followed him down the long hallways my heart was beating hundreds mph. He finally came to a stop and slowly opened the door. As we entered the quiet and clean room a nurse was there checking his vitals. Cutty never looked so weak to me in his life but now he look defenseless. He had tubes going into nose, mouth, and arms and I felt myself wanting to cry. I walked to the opposite side of the bed and signal for them to give us some personal time. They left the two of us alone finally. I took my hand across his forehead and he opened his eyes slowly. He looked at me differently though and I couldn't exactly explained the feeling. "Baby I'm so sorry this had to happen to you" I said trying to talk to him. He lay there with no type of movement just staring at me with no type of emotions. "Do you want to feel the babies?" I asked trying to grab his hand and move my stomach closer. But it's almost like he had some strength left because he forcing his hand to stay down by his side. I began to frown in confusion but he turned his head and looked away. I don't know if that meant he might be suffering from memory loss or that he remembered everything. A tear began to roll from his right eye as he stared up to the ceiling but he quickly shut his eyes tight trying to stop anymore from coming. I couldn't sit there any longer trying to hold back my own tears so I kissed him on the forehead and left.
As I'm walking back down the hall I pass MiMi room and I see a familiar face sitting next to her stiff body. I lightly knock on the already cracked door to get her attention. The pretty dark skin girl looks up with so many tears falling from her eyes. "Sorry I was just praying for my best friend but I was just about to leave" she say getting up grabbing her bag to leave. "Hey honey slow down" I said stepping in her way stopping her from leaving the room. The girl froze in her steps staring at me clueless. She didn't remember me but I definitely remembered her from the day I was out looking for Marlow. "I had no idea y'all were best friends" I said hoping to get a little information out her. "Are" she said correcting me as if I had cursed her. "Exactly I do apologize guess I struck a nerve" I said before silence filled the room. "Well if that's it I gotta go" she said pushing pass me quickly. I could feel it in my soul something just wasn't right with that girl and she looked like someone I used to know back in the day. Someone who had beef with my cousin Keisha. I thought to myself well she was definitely prettier.
   As I sat next to Mimi I began to pray over her body for strength. She had been in a coma for a while and I was the only kin left to look after her. I had made two promises to her mama and nana that if anything was to happen to them that I'd take her under my wing at least until she's eighteen. I did hear there was a suicide note but I had no idea what she wrote. The note was missing to my understanding and that bothered me the most. I knew I had to get to the bottom of this because this shit just didn't seem right.