Picture Imperfect (Niall Horan)

14 - Niall

14 – Niall

For the tenth time in the past minute, I try to get my knee to stop bouncing and my teeth to stop biting my nails, but I can’t. Cassie told me she’ll be here in about an hour, and it seems like a day has gone past, when in reality, it’s only been fifteen minutes.

“What’s got you so nervous?” Harry asks and sits down next to me.

“Nothing,” I lie and take out my phone to distract myself.

“Are you sure you’re okay, mate?” Zayn asks when he walks into the room.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Why?” I wonder, since he looks so concerned all of a sudden.

“Nothing, it’s just something that Cassie mentioned last night,” he said casually.

My head snapped in his direction for two reasons. One: Zayn and Cassie were together last night. Did something happen? Did he kiss her? Hell, they could have had their first kiss weeks ago, but I just need to know. And two: Why was Cassie talking about me, and why did that make me so damn happy? “What? What did she say about me?”

“Nothing,” Zayn dismisses me, but I stand up.

“Did she say something bad about me?” I ask.

“No, Niall. It was nothing bad, I promise. She’s just worried about you is all.”

I am about to ask what the hell he means by that when Harry speaks up. “So, mate, you kissed her, yeah?”

My heart stops as Zayn smiles and says, “Yeah.”

“Is she a good kisser?” Louis asks and it makes me want to hit him with something. I really don’t want to hear the details of their kiss. The fact that it happened in the first place makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Zayn shrugs. “I guess. We weren’t snogging or anything, it was really nice though. I’m absolutely crazy about her.”

Tell me about it, I think to myself. If only he knew that she was on my mind probably more than she was on his. I bet he didn’t even text her goodnight last night, like I did. Can’t she see that I’m the one she’s supposed to be with? I don’t know how much more of this torture I can take from her. And she’s not even trying to break my heart, but she is. She’s killing me slowly without even realizing it.

My fists clench and I really want to just release the scream I’ve been holding back since I met Cassie and tell Zayn to go to Cassie’s house and break up with her and tell her to be with me. But, no matter how much I want to be with her, or how much of a brother Zayn is to me, I would never do anything to purposefully sabotage their relationship. I care about Cassie too much to betray her like that. It would be completely selfish and that is not the way to get her to go out with me.

“Niall, are you okay?” Harry asks me, but I don’t answer. I just stand up, grab a pair of car keys, my phone from the couch and leave.

I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t consider that fact that Cassie will be there waiting for me in half an hour, I just leave. All of this is too much. I need to get away. I’m not leaving town—I can’t, obviously—but I just need to get away from Zayn and Cassie and their whole relationship. Having Zayn being a constant reminder of what I can’t have is really making it hard to control my feelings. Not rid, control.

I don’t know Nashville like Cassie or Marley does so I just keep driving until I’m out of the city and eventually I find a small dirt road. I keep driving down it and after about ten minutes I come up to a hill that overlooks the city. Everything seems so small and right now, all my problems seem like they’re a million miles away.