My Lover, My Cheater, My Arranged Marriage In Drogheda

Part Six

~Only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go~

Avni looked down at the divorce papers, it was a life changing moment, her whole life since birth had literally been filled with talks of her marrying Neil Khanna, it was a dream come true, but things changed and maybe this marriage wasn't meant to be.

Shweta saw the hesitation in Avni's eyes, if there was hesitation, there was love but Avni deserved the choice, she was dissapointed in Neil, more so for hiding it from the family but she understood that somethings were between a couple and not a family.

Avni outstretched her hand when she felt Neil's hand on her wrist
"May I speak to Avni alone please"
Avni blinked fast, finally coming out of her dazed state and pulled her hand back
Shweta nodded "I'll be in the car"
Neil waited till she had left then turned to Avni

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Neil's POV-

"I know what you're thinking and I am not trying to stop you from signing, I want you to be happy, maybe I can't give you that happiness anymore, maybe you can get it elsewhere, it kills me to think of you with someone else, but your happiness is more important to me, so if you want to sign then do, but dont feel pressured to"

"Do you want a divorce Neil" her voice sounded pained, putting me on edge, of course I didnt want a divorce, I wanted her but it was clear, she did not want me
Her eyes searched mine, like my answer mattered the most to her, when it shouldnt
"Not if you dont want one"
She sighed "Yes or no Neil, forget what I want"

"No, I want you here with me, to be my wife, I want a chance to make this right, I want to shower you with the love you deserve and I am a selfish man, im sure I wont let you sign if you dont do it quickly"
She stood quietly in front of me
"And if I said I want a divorce, what would you do"
I stoo back, the weight of her words weighing heavy on my heart

"Then I would" I stopped, unable to talk, unable to breathe, "I would let you go" I couldnt look her way, scared that the look in her eyes would be cold, I finally swallowed my fear, looking up at her she wiped away a tear
"Okay then, its decided"
I couldnt stay near her, I left the room, not wanting to face reality

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Avni's POV-

I looked down at the divorce papers in my hand I had gotten from my mother in law, I slipped it in my drawer, unsigned. Tomorrow would be a different day, I hoped would leave me in a better place, my phone buzzed loudly from beside me, I grabbed it and held it to my ear

"Ali, how are you" I looked up as Neil walked my way, "yeah Ali just hold on a second"
Neil's eyes darkened and he grabbed my phone, cutting it off
"We're not divorced yet"
"Neil what do you think you're" his glare at me made me quiet
"Were not divorced, you are still my wife, you cant be talking to Ali on the phone, flirting with him"

"Flirting with him" I squeaked "All i said was hi, I didnt even, wait, you have no right to be jealous"
He gasped "You are my wife"
"You were my husband when you cheated Neil"
"You slept with another man to"
"Yes and he was better in bed than you"
I went to walk away when he grabbed my wrist, spinning me around so I was facing him

"You know thats not true" the look in his eyes shattering all of my resolve to keep this act up
"It cant be true, you promised you would come back and be mine, you can't have found better"
He let go making me topple backwards, he caught me quickly and just for that moment it felt as if the world had come to a stop

He still had an affect on me, this close proximity made my body yearn to be as close to his as possible, I had fallen in love with this man and now all that was left of our love were cracks in the surface, and I didnt think we could ever be what we were again
"Tell me you're lying, please Avni"
I wanted to support him, comfort him and promise all would be okay, but all I could focus on was his betrayal, I wasnt good enough for him, so why should he be good enough for me

"Im not you Neil, I dont cheat on my partner"

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Neil stood ramrod straight, Avni still in his arms, her confession was like ice cold water on his skin. "You didnt, you didnt sleep with someone else"
She shook her head, "but what does that matter, you said you were going to let me go"
Neil pulled the ring out of his pocket, holding it out to her

"I dont want to Avni, I really dont want to, I know I dont deserve you, but what can I do if you're the only one I want"
She bit back a laugh "Once upon a time I wasnt what you wanted"
He wanted nothing more than to shake her until she realised how much she meant to him
"One time, one mistake, will you hold it against me for the rest of my life"

"The day I can get the picture of you and her together out of my head I may move on, when I can look at you and not see her I might give you a chance and if a time ever comes where I can look at you and know I am all you want, then maybe I might extend some forgiveness, but right now you have no right to be jealous, we're seperated Neil, you need to accept it"

Avni turned, getting into bed she led down, closing her eyes tightly
Neil stood behind her, placing her ring on the bedside cabinet
"Pulling me further
Further than I've been before
Making me stronger
Shaking me right to the core, oh
I don't know what's in the stars
Never heard it from above, the world isn't ours
But I know what's in my heart
If you ain't mine I'll be torn apart" he sang softly

Avni clenched the duvet till her hand hurt, he was singing the song they had danced to when they married, never before had she focused so much upon the words, but now it seemed so fitting it hurt
Just once she wanted to look at him as if he was hers again
She turned over to face him, his bottom lip shook slightly as he looked down at her

"Do you remember when we danced to this" he asked
"Yes"
He held out his hand for her to take, as if a natural response she put her hand in his and stood up
He pulled her close, her head on his chest, arms around his neck, his around her waist and his chin atop her head

They swayed gently to Neil's humming, as if being back in that moment again without worries like this, just two people irrevocably in love, when time hadnt caught up to them yet.
"Neil"
"Hmm"
"I really hate you for what you did"
"I know, I hate me to"