My Lover, My Cheater, My Arranged Marriage In Drogheda

Part Nine

~Hamari Adhuri Kahani~

Neil's POV-

"You're so silly sometimes, like I could ever stop loving you" she smiled at me, admiration in her eyes, all for me, all this love that for so long I had not seen, I wanted nothing more than to backtrack, act as if I was innocent, no longer guilty of betrayal and heartache, but I was.

I couldnt think of a crime bigger than what I had commited, all the nights I used to sit outside her room, crying with her, those mornings after when she would pour me a cup of coffee, curl up on the sofa and hum softly to distract herself from the pain.
All our love and all our effort to make this okay again boiled down to this very moment

Did I love her enough to tell her the truth or did I wish to keep her love and remain selfish? Had I actually learnt my lesson?
I looked up at her, her face now contorted into one of fear, she was scared I would say something that would break her heart, never did I think we would be in this position again, picking sides and making choices I never wanted to make

But the sinner makes a choice when they sin for the first time, I had made my bed and now I had to lie in it. "A few months back I got drunk, it was our first argument and I didnt know how to deal with the pain, so I drank until I couldnt feel it anymore, then I"
"Jesus, look at me Neil please" she begged
So I did, hot tears running down her cheeks, it was like acid rain on my heart

"You have to let me say it or I will lose my nerve"
She nodded and moved her hand away, her face one of extreme dismay
"I slept with someone"
Just like that, as if I could feel her heart break in my hands, she tipped up my chin, looking me in the eye, seeing if there was any truth to what I had said
"Get out" her voice was low, bitter and her eyes were so red from the crying I knew then that this wasnt another chance, this was a lesson, it was something done to make me realise that I had to leave

She was better off without me.

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Avni's POV-

I watched as Neil limped down the hallway infront of me, occasionally stopping to ask if I was okay. We were now at home and I was greatful to be back, but Neil was distant, confusingly so because from the way he looked at me he still loved me very much so.

Neil turned and pointed to the file on the kitchen side, "I found this in your drawer, I have signed it, all you need to do is sign it to"
I felt closed in, I couldnt breathe, Neil wanted a divorce?
"You want a divorce"
Neil shook his head "No"

"But you deserve better than me, I want you to be free, I know that maybe no one can love you as much as I do right now, I will always love you, but you deserve to find the you without me"
"And you think leaving me will give me that"
The shock on his face disgusted me
I grabbed the papers and ripped them up

"I wanted you to fight for me god damnit" I was crying and I hated it
"Avni, oh god im sorry I didnt think, you said you wanted to find the you without me and I dont want you to be trapped"
The next thing I knew I was banging my hands onto his chest, sobbing and collapsing into his arms

"That doesnt mean I cant do that with you, I love you Neil and I thought you loved me to"
"Im sorry, im so sorry, im not good at hints, you want me to fight, ill fight"
"No, I want you to fight because you want to" I was fuming, I wanted to hit him, why could he not understand the simple things

I tried to pull away, wanting nothing more than to be far away from him but also close to him, I was fighting between my head and my heart but there wasnt a part of me that did not want him

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Neil tugged Avni back to him, "I do want to fight for you, stupid woman, you're all I will ever want, I just want to make you happy, look at this"
Neil limped to the living room with Avni, showing her the cases, he opened them, she looked down at a box and he pulled it open

"Ticket from our first date, the cufflinks from the day I married you, the" he stopped as she put down the box and looked at her sari he had brought her
He shrugged "it smelt like you"
"I cant believe you kept all of this"
"How could I not, they were some of the best moments of my life"

Avni released a shaky breath, "So what, you're going to just leave now, with your suitcase packed, like these years of marriage was nothing"
Neil shook his head "No, I am going to stay, and fight"
Avni went to open her mouth but Neil put a finger over her lips
"Not because you asked me to, but because whats the point of me walking out that door, when you are all I want, I wont give up on that"

Avni turned around, crossing her arms "Well maybe, I dont want you to stay" she rose her chin highly "Maybe I just want you to get all your belongings and leave"
Neil shook his head, Avni always was stubborn
Grabbing her waist he tugged her with him towards the door
"What on earth do you think you're doing" she shouted

"My leg wont forgive me for this" he muttered under his breath before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder
"You said get all your belongings and leave, so that is what I am doing"
Avni punched his back, he finally allowed her to slide down his body

Avni raised her hand to slap him, but Neil's hand grabbed her wrist before she could, pushing her into the wall with his body, he leant down, kissing just below her ear she shivered
"Want to try that again, baby" he whispered huskily making the hairs stand up on the back of her neck

Will reply to your comments individually soon! Only God knows just how many times I re-wrote this chapter, so I really hope you all like it!