A New Life: A Latter Day Story

Chapter 5

I did not know that church was three hours long but I was surprised by how fast it went, whenever I didn't understand something Marisa or the missionaries would lean towards me and quietly explain things to me before I would even ask. I really enjoyed Relief Society, a lot of the women were mothers and grandmothers, Marisa and I were the youngest ones, but it didn't bother me it was actually more comforting to be in a room full of older women. 

As Marisa drove me back to my apartment we laughed and chatted a lot, I found out that Marisa is currently going to Blue Ridge Community College and she grew up Mormon, we even talked a little bit about our eating disorders and it was comforting to talk about it with someone who is going through the same thing. We also talked about church, Marisa answered my many questions that I thought up after church and she was patient with answering my questions. My heart just seemed to grow warmer and warmer as we talked about the Gospel, I grew up Lutheran and I never got that warm feeling going to the church I grew up in. 

When we pulled up to my apartment Marisa gave me a hug and reminded me to start reading the Book of Mormon before my lesson with the missionaries, I didn't need a reminder though, I was itching to open the cover and start reading as soon as I go inside. I wave goodbye to Marisa from my door as she drives away, as soon as she's gone I close the door, grab a blank journal and a pen from my bookshelf, and sit on my couch. I gently brush my hand over the cover and feel this pressure in my chest grow with the warmth, I have this feeling that once I start reading this book I will never be able to go back to what I knew before. Just from holding this book I can almost feel this powerful weight I have yet to discover, I take a deep breath and open the book to find beautiful pictures of Christ, I keep turning until I reach the first book, First Nephi. As I start reading I notice that the words are written like a King James Bible, it isn't that hard to read and I do have a pretty good understanding of what I'm reading since I went to a tiny Lutheran private school that valued pounding Christian teachings into your head when I was younger. As I read I realize I am right, reading about Nephi and the plates, Lehi's vision, and the great tests of faith these people exemplified is powerful and I can see why this book feels so powerful. 

I finally look up from reading with sore, dry eyes and notice it's six'o'clock, I save my page and close my journal before getting up to stretch. I can't believe I read for almost four hours, I finished reading First Nephi and I'm almost done reading Second Nephi and have successfully filled three pages in my journal full of notes, questions, and verses I liked. I finally decide I should change out of my church clothes and get comfortable, I think about today and realize I never got to work out, I was going to do it as soon as I got home from church but I was so excited by reading that I forgot. For the first time in a while I didn't panic over that thought, I still felt the need to exercise but the panic was gone. I thought about what I should do and I decided that I could walk to Cranberry's and eat a salad there and walk back, that way I get my exercise and eat dinner without feeling too guilty. Before I knew it I was putting on my running shoes and heading out the door, I didn't run or even try to fast walk, I just walked normally and felt my mood soar higher. I still felt worried about my weight but, amazingly, I was able to push aside those thoughts. Maybe Marie was right, maybe my eating disorder doesn't make me happy after all.