Sarcastic. Smart. Sexy.
"Listen, if you honestly don't want to go out, that's fine. I won't be offended or an asshole because you say 'no' or change your mind. But I'm not going to try to convince you to like me. I'm also not going to waste time pr...
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Saturday 10:38 a.m.
Essi
What gives?
Huh?
I haven't seen youfor nearly a week and now you're giving me your name out of nowhere?
Fine, I take it back.
Nope. No takes backsies.
Saturday 11:24 a.m.
What are you? 12?
24, you?
Dear, god. Please don't be 17.
Saturday 11:53 a.m.
21
You suck at texting.
I was changing.
But yes, I usually do anyway. I apologize in advance.
Ooh, what're you wearing?
I'm totally kidding, by the way.
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Do I get one too?
Jesus Christ, don't do that. A part of me wanted to see you changing because I'm only human and you're gorgeous. And another part would rather have seen you in person first.
I'm sorry you were so conflicted.
Where are you?
Downtown.
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"Me too. Got any free time this afternoon?"
Would you look at that? He reciprocates.
Always.
I'll keep that in mind.
The sexual tension aside, you didn't answer my question.
Saturday 12:21 p.m.
What question?
That video I sent?
Oh, I didn't click it.
I was about to grab some celebratory lunch if you want to join.
What are you celebrating?
Finally learning how to use a phone?
Ha. Hilarious. I just finished shopping for my sister's engagement thing and I think I deserve carbs.
Count me in. Where at, Essi?
God your name is as beautiful as you.
It's too early for flattery. How about the Italian place on 5th?
It's noon.
I'm nocturnal.
Fine, then I'll meet you there for dinner.
What's wrong with now?
I can't call it a date if we meet now.
Smooth.
See you at 7.
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I just really wanted an excuse to use that gif of Obama hahahaha
Also, I just couldn't wait to publish this one. If only people could match this level of texting banter in real life. Where the sarcastic guys at?!
