Playing Sleep

nine » the day after

"It appears that every man's insomnia is different from his neighbour's as are their daytime hopes and aspirations." - F.Scott Fitzgerald

As soon as I had arrived home, I'd collapsed in my bed and had seven straight hours of blissful sleep. When I woke, I almost felt like a normal person and I could face the creature in the mirror with much less distaste. The bags under his eyes were not nearly as severe as they once were, and he overall looked sharper and more ready for what the day held. It was the person I'd wanted to be for years, staring at me in the mirror.

Pulling myself out of bed, I tightened the drawstrings around my sweat pants and padded over to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. I couldn't get Emily's anxiety out of my mind, what I felt obliged to do and most of all the fact that she didn't know that I knew.

I needed to tell her, that much was obvious, only I had no idea how or when. It needed to be the right time, but there never really is a 'right' time to go up to a girl you've known for a little over a week and say "Oh, hey. I know you have insomnia because after I tucked your drunken state into bed the other night I went to the bathroom and found your bottle of Retratac, which I know is used to aid anxiety. From there I kinda pieced it all together." It just wasn't done, and such an action would probably terminate our friendship, which I also wanted to avoid.

Because ever since I met this Emily girl, I'd been sleeping better. Each day I spent with her, that night I always got the most sleep I'd ever have, and although it was selfish of me, I didn't want to give her up and risk myself falling back into my old routine. Besides, I'd made myself her net, I was going to be there when she finally hit the ground, no matter the circumstances. How I was going to execute that, I wasn't too sure.

Once the kettle had boiled I tossed a teabag into my mug then poured the water over it. Picking it up I took my drink into the lounge and collapsed on the couch, my feet curled under me as I stared blankly at the coffee table. While I wanted to think my way through the entire Emily and I situation, it was just so much easier to count the number of coffee stains on the wooden surface, or ruffling my hair to comb my hand through it, only to ruffle it again. The simple things in life were always the things to envy, as there was no reason to overthink their worth or capabilities. You got exactly what you bargained for and never anything else. Sometimes I wish people were like that.

Although I didn't want to be that kind of person, there was a part of me that was wishing I'd never found out about Emily's own problems. As if the idea of other's being troubled, made reality all too harsh and I suddenly couldn't handle it. There was a tiny part of me that wanted to retreat away from it all, and disappear back into my old routine of little sleep and intense studying or working out. In a way it was easier before.

Groaning, I placed my tea on the coffee table before rushing to the shower. I needed to get the advice of someone other than my own internal angel and devil, for they were so far no help at all. Washing away all the grimes that yesterday night brought, I quickly changed into my typical tee and jeans, flinging on a hoodie as I grabbed my tea and shoes. Finishing off my scalding tea, inconveniently burning my tongue in the process, I laced my sneakers up, grabbed my keys and wallet before flinging my door open to only shut it behind me.

Taking the stairs two at a time I called for a taxi which was faster than my two feet and spouted off the address of 'Julie's Coffee Collection' as soon as it arrived. In dire times, I always turned to the one woman who was my net, when I began to fall. Although things were different between us than how I feel about Emily, I still needed the advice of someone who had been there done that. She knew what to do, while I had no clue, and right now even some gentle teasing would be welcomed.

As I walked through the doors, I was greeted with a face full of floral breasts, which I really could've done without, and two kisses on each cheek. Rolling my eyes, I realised Julie was in an extremely happy mood, as she hardly ever treated me like this. She'd either gotten at least seven hours of sleep last night, or something to do with money had changed.