Second Chance

Chapter Three: Ritsuko: act I

Dr Ritsuko Akagi sits at her computer, carefully checking the Magi records. According to it, there was an irregularity in the syncing process with Unit 01, and that Kaworu had synced with it 35 seconds later than expected of a normal sync.

Why did you do what you did, Yui? Was it all for your son? Is the mother inside you so twisted, you believe this is good for him?

A mother... she never had the chance to make herself one. Though, she would admit, she always thought herself the mother of Rei and Kaworu. Those children, she thought. They never had a chance at a normal life.

Checking that the data was correct, she moved on to the paperwork. These days, there might be a chance that she'll just get tired of it all and resign, leaving mankind's fate to itself. Then again, she would never do that to the children. They needed her.

Sighing, she lights a cigarette. A report on the status of the Eva was supposed to be done by tomorrow. Maya had been of great help, as usual. Her thoughts wandered towards her cat. She wondered how it was doing. And her mother... she wished there could be a chance that she'll wake from her coma. Life wasn't easy.

To her surprise, the door opened quietly. Standing there was Kaworu, a look of concern on his face.

"You should go home and rest, Ritsuko-san." He whispers softly. "Too much work isn't healthy. Nor is that cigarette."

"It's fine, Kaworu. I think there's just a little more I need to do. Gendo needs the report tomorrow."

"He's being too hard on you."

"It's just duty. Mind if you brew me a cup of coffee? You can go home first after that. It's not good for children to sleep late. Rei probably went home already."

"I'm here too." She said suddenly.

"Ritsuko-san, just rest. You're getting tired and you need sleep, even if we don't."

"I guess so then." She replied, yawning as she realised what time it was. "Oh dear, it's three in the morning already?" As the children dragged her into the car, driving themselves- she didn't know how they pulled it off, but they always did- she fell asleep to the dialogue of the children's quiet whispers.

She looks around her. She was in that same lab again. Watching from the window, she saw how Gendo tries to persuade Yui to give up on the Human Instrumentality Project, how it was unrealistic and ridiculous. Her own mother joins in, and she saw that hint of jealousy in Yui's eyes, that Gendo, though married to her, still has eyes for another woman.

It was still the days of Gehirn, as they were working on the Evas. That day, Yui had walked in, an infant in her arms, a little girl holding the other.

"These are my children, Shinji Ikari, and Ayanami Rei, who is artificially made with my own and Lilith's genes." She had told Naoko proudly. She was horrified then. The girl said nothing, only doing everything Yui asked, from the most trivial tasks to her last, ordered by Yui.

At then, she was worried for her mother. That she will lose herself if she doesn't get Gendo. And Gendo did care for Naoko, actually. And all that stood in the way was Yui. And her son.

He was the only true proof. The person who really could stop it from being real.

That night, she sneaked into Yui's office, and found baby Shinji lying there. So innocent, so pure. But this was her chance. So she placed her hands on his throat, and squeezed.

Yui walked in right then, Rei trailing behind her. She was horrified then, of what she would do. She was a mother, after all.

What she did, was truly twisted indeed.

"Kill the doctor Naoko Akagi." Yui had told Rei.

She had gasped in horror, preparing to run out to save her mother, when Yui stops her with her handgun.

"This is the price you pay for trying to kill my son!" She had screamed.

After what had seemed like forever, there was a loud gunshot.

"You may go now," Yui had said then, a twisted and cruel smile playing on her lips.

She rushed out, all the way to Naoko's office. There, arms wrapped around herself, was a very shaken Naoko, and a fourteen year old, grey haired, crimson eyed albino boy who stood over the dead body of Rei I.

She was very shaken then too, as the boy, Kaworu, as he calls himself, explains the situation with Rei, and himself. Of what they are. Naoko had fainted, too shaken by all that's happened, as she herself and Kaworu went to Yui's office.

At first she was smirking, then she realised that Naoko was probably still alive. With no other way to escape, she jumps into the entry plug of Unit 01, saying that they will pay in the future. Kaworu then left, saying they will meet again, and joins her mother on the plane to Berlin. And soon after, her mother falls into a coma, she discovers the Rei clones, and Gehirn reforms into Nerv.

All was wrong. Just because of her own stupidity, trying to kill Shinji, caused Mother to fall into a coma.

"It wasn't your fault." Kaworu whispers in her dream.

It was then she realised, she had no idea how Kaworu knew Yui's sudden attempt to kill Naoko, and how he arrived in time. But then, as she blinked, facing the ceiling of her room, the dream faded. She knows she will not make that mistake again.

A mother, a woman, a scientist. How do I be any of them, without sacrificing another? That was the mistakes both of them made. I can't fail my children.

My children, she realised. I called them that in my mind.

Stepping out into the light, she sees the breakfast already made for her. Rei stood there, a shy smile suggesting that she made it. Calm down, she told herself. This is not that Rei. This is not Yui's Rei. This is a Rei who will get to choose. One who can be free from Yui.

As she placed the rice dumpling within her mouth, she noticed how wonderfully delicious it was.

"It tastes great, Rei."

And then she hugs her. Not just loosely, as expected of any mother. But tight and heartwarming, not letting go.