Are We Human?

Chapter 15

He talked the whole way there, filling the cruel silence with needless knowledge to try and ward it off. He talked about the different people he knows in this community, about their stories together, about their amazing personalities and hopes to help others in situations similar to theirs. I laughed at all his random jokes and felt my anxiety slightly loosen it's grip on my lungs, allowing me to breathe just a bit better. 

"And then there's this one guy, we like to call him Shadow. He came into our little group not too long before you did, actually. He hasn't really said much, if I'm being completely honest, but I don't really mind. He's all mysterious and sort of secretive, but he seems pretty reliable. 

I looked at him in confusion. "Interesting. What's his real name?" 

He shook his head at that, letting me know his answer, but he still pressed on, "No one knows. He won't tell anybody. I told you he's a very private person, but also very loyal. He helped out one of my other buddies when he got jumped." 

I tilted my head and squinted my eyes. "He was going to get beaten up." I nodded and stared straight ahead again, recalling all the times I had witnessed too many clones getting beaten and harassed by too many guards. Pj and his hands came to my mind and I was all too quick to shut it out. 

"I like him already." He smiled. I only really talked to give my brain something to do besides think, even if it was for only a mere second, but knowing that it made Ivan happier made me brighter up a bit. 

We traveled the rest of the way in silence, but it surprisingly wasn't an uncomfortable, or even a suffocating type of silence. It was like the silence that blankets a town as snow drifts down thoughtfully to the ground, the tiny snowflakes making barely a sound as they kiss the concrete ground. I was immensely grateful that Ivan had stuck with me, otherwise I doubt I would've been able to live through yet another stretch of no sound. My brain couldn't handle it anymore. 

Eventually, Ivan rounded a corner and turned us into an alleyway behind an old, dingy apartment building. I couldn't tell if it was abandoned, but it definitely hadn't been renovated in years. The buildings that created the sides of the passageway were painted a deep brown years ago and held chips in most places. There were barely any lights illuminating the space, so the entire area was wrapped in a dark and cool atmosphere. I felt an inkling of fear shoot through my spine, but I had become accustomed to the empty and terrified. 

Towards the end of the alley near the dead end there was a vibrant, orange light that almost hurt my eyes to look at. It was a few feet above the cement ground, but I couldn't quite see what was holding it up and in place from the distance that separated us. As we drew nearer to the object, I could finally make out silhouettes of a trash can and a few people standing dangerously close around it. Most of them stuck their hands out towards the fire for warmth, others sat back and watched the group with a glint playfulness shining in their eyes. 

I began slowing down slightly, hesitating more and more with each step toward the final destination. My footsteps stopped coming as quickly, almost subconsciously as if I were trudging through a thick swamp of mud and moss. Ivan mumbled words of encouragement beside me and I crumbled forward. I could only inch my way there, seeing as my brain couldn't process anything like this any faster than that. 

When we approached the blazing fire, I saw that the people surrounding it were dressed in ratty, darker clothing with dirt streaked faces and held their hair atop their heads in rats nests and chaotic jumbles that looked like a war zone of locks and trash. 

"Hey guys!" Ivan called over to them cheerfully. He unlooped our arms in order to hug some of them and pat the back of others. I smiled shyly at them all as they greeted Ivan warmly. 

Someone glanced over at me mid hug, their eyes widening as well as their grin. "Who's this?" He quickly questioned Ivan, almost as if I wasn't even there. I honestly didn't mind it all that much, seeing as I had grown to accept the isolation. 

"Oh, yeah, guys." He called the last word out loudly to the crowd and looked around, demanding the attention of the entire group. "This," He paused dramatically for effect and flung his hands out towards me. "is Dan." 

"The Dan?" One woman called out in a sort of unbelieving tone from the back of the group. All of their faces lit up like a flashlight in a doctor's office and their cautious faces changed to ones of welcoming and joy. 

Their entire group seemed to surge towards me. 

"Oh, that's the Dan for sure." 

"We've heard so much about you!" 

"Oh, you're so scrawny! Someone get this boy some food!" 

"He already seems wonderful!" 

I smiled and attempted to listen to each individual person as they said things to me, but it was proven quite difficult since there were just so many of them. Still, I smiled politely at each of them and went along with their words. 

"Here!" One of them called out to me as he stood up from his spot on top of a crate. "Take a seat. You look pretty beat up there." 

I shook my head, trying to decline such a generous offer, but he insisted so I plopped myself down where he should have been. I wasn't in a mood, nor at a good level of friendship, to argue with any of these people, anyway. A woman approached me and I was immediately engulfed in a deep brown blanket. It was almost more comfortable than the ones they supplied us at the camp, to be completely honest. The seat I had taken was close enough to the fire that I could feel its warmth licking at my face, but far enough away that its claws of light barely grazed my skin. I was grateful for such a spot. 

The group quickly moved on from me and went back to their quiet chattering in their smaller groups. I watched them from the sidelines, completely amused by their silly antics. 

I was invested in a conversation between a man and a woman over which one had a worse life (which was kind of pathetic, really, seeing as it literally made no difference) when a gruff voice called out over the flurry of noise, "Oi! Shadow!" 

The group all looked over and began crowding a tall boy that I couldn't quite make out the proper details of. He didn't say anything to any of them, as I heard no new voices pop up above the noise. He didn't even utter a single word when Ivan excitedly told him that there was a new member in their group. 

"He's over here!" Ivan shouted to him before turning and calling me over. I hesitantly got up to my feet, a small smile masking how I was dying inside. 

I stepped closer to the new huddle, shoulders still wrapped in the brown blanket. When I was merely a few feet away, the group parted so there was a clear path between myself and the boy. I gasped in shock and could almost feel my heart stop. 

"Dan?" 

In front of me stood a boy, a boy that I hadn't seen in what felt like a very, very long time. His black hair was a little longer, a little wilder, a little more untamed but still infinitely handsome. He seemed taller but thinner, like his stomach bad been empty for a few too many nights. 

He leaped forward and wrapped me up in his arms. I gladly accepted the gesture and fell into him, soft sobs wracking my body as I gripped his shirt firmly in my hands. I was far too scared of him slipping through my fingertips yet again to let my grasp on the clothing loosen up. 

I could hear his breath hitch in his throat as he, too, let tears pour down his face. Still, we stayed in our tight embrace for a while, trying to sync our hearts back up again. 

It took my brain just a little bit to finally catch up, but when it did only one word could form a clear thought in my head. 

Phil.