Tales Untold

It's Not Real

"So, what drama do you want to watch?" Kai asked, turning to Cinder as he turned on the netscreen. It was a Saturday, and Kai reserved Saturday afternoons for himself. On this particular day, Cinder had come to visit, seeing how they were so close to their wedding. 

He had asked her if she wanted to do anything, like go to the gardens and have a picnic, or travel down to the market. She rejected all of his ideas and told him that she was intent on staying at the palace and cuddling on the couch. Kai didn't have any complaints to that.

Cinder huffed, and looked at the dozens of channels as she pulled her blanket around her like a sort of cape. "Uh... how about that one where they're trying to figure out who the murderer is. That one looked interesting."

Kai laughed, and nudged Cinder with his shoulder. "You're describing about twenty percent of the shows on here!"

A bashful look came over Cinder's face and she retorted, "Well, I'm sorry that I've been busy running the moon while-" Cinder yawned, "-you've been watching net dramas on your butt all day."

Kai glared at her, though smiled as she snuggled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder and tucking her arms around his waist. "I'll pick one then," Kai grumbled, though he still had a goofy grin on his face, and he wrapped his arm around Cinder's shoulders.

The show he picked was about a murderer, though there was more romance to it than dying. He had already seen all five seasons of it with Iko (when they had binged then all in three days), but loved the way it made his stomach jump with butterflies. It was so intricate and detailed, keeping you on the edge of your seat. It was a huge ball of excitement and nervousness, and-

Cinder was out cold.

Rolling his eyes, Kai wondered how someone could fall asleep during so much drama and adventure. Maybe she had already had enough for her lifetime.

He pulled up the blanket and tucked it up around her shoulders, brushing her hair out of her face as he did so. She looked so calm when she was asleep. She looked like she could actually be an eighteen-year-old girl instead of the much older person that life as a Queen had forced her to be.

She suddenly squeezed Kai tightly, and he froze, worrying that he had woke her. She didn't open her eyes though, and Kai hugged her back. He looked down at her, checking to see if she was okay, but her face still remained a mask of calm and relaxation.

Kai looked back up, watching as the characters found a gun in the back of a car. They suspected the woman of possibly being the murderer, though Kai knew that she wasn't. The killer was in fact-

Cinder squeezed Kai tightly again, and Kai gazed down at her. Though her eyes were still closed, Cinder's brow was furrowed. There was no calm left to her face, but pure terror.

Worry poked at Kai's mind. What if she was having a nightmare? He knew that she had them, and quite often from what Iko would tell him, but he wasn't quite sure how to handle it. Did he wake her up, or just hold her until it was all over?

Maybe she usually hugs pillows in her sleep? Kai's brain suggested. Maybe the look of pain on her face is just an itch, or-

Cinder let out a whimper and hugged him tighter than she had before. She buried her face into Kai's shirt, and began whispering something that Kai couldn't hear.

That was enough to make him worry.

"Hey," Kai said soothingly, "Cinder, Cinder it's not real. It's just a dream."

The response to this was a moan, followed by Cinder weaving her fingers tightly into his shirt. He stroked her hair softly, cupping the back of her head with his hand and holding it to his chest. "It's not real," He whispered. "It's not real. It's not real."

A sob escaped Cinder's mouth, and Kai froze. She seemed to be whispering the word "no" over and over again, and her whimpers only increased.

Kai turned off the drama, worried that the intense music wasn't helping Cinder's condition. "Cinder," Kai said loud, but kindly in her ear. "Wake up."

Another whimper, and Cinder's small frame began to shake. Her tan skin was pale, and her breathing was coming out in harsh rasps. Everything about her portrayed fear, and Kai only wanted her to wake up, except...

She wasn't waking up.

"Cinder," Kai jostled her shoulder urgently. She screamed, digging her nails into Kai as he tried to shake her awake. "Cinder, please wake up. You're scaring me." Kai said frantically.

"No, no, no," Cinder whispered. "NO!" Cinder yelled, and then her eyes snapped open. They were large and frightful, more fear filled them than Kai had ever seen there before. She was shaking horribly, and Kai was almost worried that she was having a seizure.

Kai let out a shaky breath, and he clutched Cinder to him as though he were afraid she might disappear. "It's not real, Cinder." Kai whispered. "It was just a dream."

Another sob escaped Cinder, although Kai couldn't tell if it was from relief, terror, or sadness. Maybe a little bit of all of them. Cinder clutched Kai, and breathed in a shaky breath before looking up at him.

A tear splashed down her face, which surprised Kai. She couldn't cry. It wasn't until Cinder reached up and brushed her human thumb across his cheeks that he noticed that he was the one who had been crying.

"I'm okay," Cinder mumbed, taking in Kai's distraught face, taken aback by the tears that laid there. "Are you okay?" She asked, her scared face taking on a look of concern.

Kai laughed, but it held more hysteria than anything else. "Am I alright?" Kai asked almost indignantly. "Do you normally have dreams like that? I thought that you were never going to wake up again! You were in so much pain, and..." Kai trailed off, trying to gain his composure. "Do you always have dreams like that?"

Silence

"Cinder," Kai moaned, "why didn't you tell me about them. Why didn't you-"

"Tell you that I have nightmares?" Cinder mumbled, though it was defiantly. "I'm not a child, Kai. I can take care of myself. They're not real, and I'm fine." Cinder began to stand up from the couch, clearly agitated, but there was still a tremor in her hands.

Kai grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving him. "Don't do that." Kai said, his voice hard, but not cold."

"Do what?"

"Pretend like you're okay when you're clearly not!" Kai wanted to yell, but he kept his voice low and even. "Cinder, I... I was so scared. I thought you were in pain, or worse. I thought..."

"Thought what?" Cinder asked, her face a mask of calm.

Kai sighed a shaky breath. "I didn't think that you would wake up. I couldn't get you to and- stars, I was so worried."

"I'm sorry," Cinder muttered, and she looked almost guilty.

"Don't do that either!" Kai rubbed a hand through his hair, his other arm still wrapped protectively around Cinder. "It's not your fault that you have nightmares. It's not your fault that I got scared. None of this is your fault. I-" Kai paused, "I just wish that you told me. I wish that I knew. I wish that I could have helped you better."

Cinder nodded, and breathed in deeply. "I love you."

Kai almost started crying again, and he kissed the top of Cinder's head. He held her so tight that one might wonder if she could even breathe. He breathed in her scent of flowers and engine grease.

He felt everything that was Cinder, and promised that he would never let anything happen to her again. He would comfort her through every dream. He would simply be there for her.

"I love you too."