Chapter 2

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(5) Anxiety

Leon's hands were shaking. He averted his gaze to the ground. It didn't help that Lukas's stare was as penetrating as could be, with a hint of disdain and mockery.

Emil peeked from his older brother to his friend and decided to break the tormenting silence.

'Come in,' invited Emil. Leon didn't budge. Instead, he took a step back.

'Um...actually I, like, think it's not such a good idea after all,' he stammered, trying his best not to look at Lukas. He had to leave before Lukas spilled out something humiliating.

Emil frowned, unable to fathom Leon's sudden change of mind. Before he responded, Lukas said, 'Come in. It's not like I'm a scary monster.'

He didn't like to keep the door open. As a matter of fact, the wind was blowing in. It was snowing outside.

'What's wrong?' teased Lukas. 'I don't bite.'

Leon wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it so he could disappear forever. It was debasing to face Lukas. He had had a deal with his own best friend's brother!

'Get lost, Lukas,' said Emil as he quickly dragged Leon into the house. 'You're scaring my guest away.'

'I didn't do anything,' protested Lukas. He held up his hands in defence. Fortunately for Leon, it seemed that Lukas had no intention to leak out their secret rendezvous.

The rest of the night proceeded awkwardly. Lukas insisted that Emil and Leon eat with him. He even forced Emil to swallow the vegetables, saying it was good for his health. For the entire dinner, Leon avoided eye contact with Lukas, who stared at him occasionally with a smirk. Leon wanted to cry when Emil left to go to the bathroom. He wanted his friend to stay but it would sound too desperate and cowardly.

After Emil left the table, Lukas finally opened the conversation with Leon.

'I see you aren't wearing your dress today.'

'Do you have to, like, destroy me every time we meet?' asked Leon.

'Me, destroying you?' laughed Lukas as he leaned closer to Leon. 'I think you're a bit paranoid.'

'Please don't tell Emil anything,' said Leon. It was unusual for him to beg someone, but Lukas was a challenging opponent. At least, he recognised his own limits.

'You think I'd rather ruin my clean brother image just to make Emil feel disgusted?' said Lukas incredulously. 'I thought you're smarter than this.'

Leon couldn't stand this guy. As much as he had to admit that Lukas's words always spoke the truth, his attitude simply irritated him. So much for putting up a façade.

'Emil always mentions you,' said Lukas. He tilted his head and goggled at Leon. Leon couldn't help but look away with a faint blush. He felt as if he was being undressed. 'Like how you're pretty clever, funny, popular and all. I guess he thinks too highly of you.'

'That's, like, a bit rich coming from you,' said Leon rudely.

'I mean, of course, you have your own wits,' continued Lukas. 'But I don't really like the idea that my brother is hanging out with a sellout.'

'I quit,' argued Leon. He finally mustered the courage to glare at Lukas. 'As I remember, you, like, enjoyed my service fairly well. I don't think Emil would like to know what his brother could do with a random crossdresser.'

There was a long moment of silence and then Lukas burst into laughter.

'Are you threatening me?'

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