A Date, A Bet and Some More (Hetalia-NorHong)

Chapter 4

(13) Confession

Emil peeked at Lukas's face through the rear-view mirror. He looked pale and expressionless as usual. Emil tried to notice any fundamental emotional changes and decided to give up. The silence suffocated him. He remembered Leon's hug and the slight annoyance Lukas showed when he appeared. He knew, for one, Lukas was an extremely jealous person. Basically, he allowed nobody to touch his possession. When he caught Mathias messing with Gilbert and Alfred, he went haywire. And since Emil was a child, Lukas had been there to fight away his bullies, help him overcome any obstacles and take care of him like an actual mother. Their parents were estranged. When Emil bravely suggested studying abroad, Lukas immediately vowed to follow him, abandoning everything he had ever had in Norway.

'Lukas?'

'Yes?' Lukas's lips curved upward. He was trying his best to give Emil a friendly smile. Emil knew he had to be careful of what to say next. The last thing they wanted was end up hurting each other.

'Do you like Leon?' asked Emil bluntly.

Lukas's smile didn't fade, but his gaze remained on the road ahead. Leon had refused to take the ride. He said he would stay in the library for a bit longer to finish his last assignment. Lukas didn't force him and drove Emil home instead.

'That,' sighed Lukas. 'I'm sorry, Emil. You've seen something, haven't you?'

Emil nodded.

'You can be honest with me,' said Emil. 'There's nothing between me and Leon.'

'I know,' said Lukas. 'Otherwise I'd have strangled him long ago.'

Emil fought back a chuckle. That was so Lukas. He knew everything. He was basically everywhere.

'And I wouldn't lie to my little bro,' said Lukas. 'If you really want to know, I'd say I do feel something. He fascinates me. And we're still getting to know each other. I doubt he shares the same feeling though.'

Emil stared out of the window and admired the view of the town park outside. The flowers had blossomed and kids were frolicking gleefully around the fountain. The sky was still blue and the breeze gently caressed his face.

'Why can't you be more...um...' Emil paused, trying to look for the right vocabulary.

'I thought he knew,' said Lukas. 'Maybe not.'

'Lukas,' said Emil as he turned back to glance at his brother. Lukas's smile had vanished. He looked stern again.

'Call me big brother.'

Emil blushed and pouted. 'No, you shouldn't tease Leon too much. He can't take it. He's sensitive. Even more so than me. I know you would find it hardly believable but it's true.'

Emil could vividly remember Leon's tears when he rejected him.

It was a few days before summer vacation began. They were in grade 11, having been best friends for two years or so. Leon had prepared a bouquet. He claimed to have hand-picked all the flowers from the gardening club. Lavender. It matched Emil's eyes. His confession was unnecessarily elaborated and awkward. He even made and decorated an album full of photos that captured their past memories. What he didn't expect was that Emil could never reciprocate to his feelings.

When Emil told Leon candidly that he was asexual, Leon only stood there, somewhat puzzled and ashamed. Puzzled because he was truly embarrassed and didn't know how to clear the mess he had made. Ashamed because he would forever blame himself for not noticing this side of Emil earlier. They both apologised and their friendship crumbled. Leon, unable to face Emil, started avoiding him. Emil knew Leon was crying and breaking inside. He tried to resolve their problem but before he succeeded, Leon had started going out with Arthur.