Funny Dirty Jokes

Joke 102

A man walks into a bar carrying an octopus. He loudly announces that his pet octopus can play ANY musical instrument it is presented with, and wages a bet that nobody can refute his claim.
From the crowd a man emerges carrying a saxophone and lays it in front of the octopus. After a few seconds of fumbling the octopus plays a beautiful saxophone solo.
The crowd is stunned.
A new contender hands the octopus a guitar, and with ease the octopus strums out some of the finest tubes the crowd had heard.
This continues as the octopus is challenged with more instruments. Each time the octopus wows the crowd with its uncanny musical talents. The owner of the octopus is collecting sizable sums of cash from each wager.
The bartender, frustrated now as his patrons are no longer shelling out cash for beer, storms off to the back of his shop and returns with a set of bagpipes.
The bagpipes are dumped in front of the octopus. The octopus slowly climbs all over the bagpipes, plucking at them with its tentacles and mouthing it softly. Minutes pass, the bar is in silence, but the octopus has done nothing but roll around and fumble with the bagpipes.
Nervously the owner of the octopus leans over to his pet and whispers - "well, hurry up and play it". The octopus pauses, loons at his owner and says "play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm going to fuck it".