Hookfang's Tale (HTTYD)

4 - Caves and Dragons

A/N:
For the Easter eggs last chapter, there's a Youtube video called "Everything Wrong With How to Train Your Dragon". It's one of many on a channel that nitpicks inconsistencies and plot holes and I find them to be pretty funny. It actually played a part in inspiring some aspects of this story. I included a few references to the various sins the video pointed out.

During the first Gronckle training, there was a line that made me crack up. "Gronckle will now waste inordinate amounts of time hocking a fire loogie so Hiccup can be saved at the last second." They also pointed out that the dragon conveniently misses every shot, which partly inspired this whole "dragons are secretly in league with the Vikings" shindig.

During the Nadder training, Gobber mentioned that every dragon has a blind spot and the sins video called 'em out on how that would be a huge evolutionary flaw, so I had Spite dwell a little on that.

Yeah, I know, not the most impressive. After the whole "So long and thanks for all the fish" line in chapter 2, I should quit while I'm ahead. However, I'm even more stubborn than an irate dragon, so have fun with this next Easter egg. I anticipate some face-palming at the title alone.

Caves and Dragons

KABOOM!

{Warn me next time you light our gas on fire. I didn't know to close my eyes.}

{It wasn't me this time.}

{Why should I believe you?}

{Because you can literally feel everything I can feel. You would know if I shot out some sparks. Maybe you should think about that before accusing me.}

{Maybe I should bite you.}

{You already did.}

{I'll do it again!}

{But you would feel the pain, too!}

Oops, that may have been me. Spit had been spewing out a bunch of explosive gas, knowing the cave walls were about to open. When I saw some of the green gas seeping into my small cave, I couldn't resist lighting it up. It was a long shot that the fire would spread through the wisps that drifted over, all the way to Spit and Sputter's cave, but I must say the results are quite pleasing. The walls of their cave were just loosened, so the explosion violently flung them wide open. It sure made for a dramatic entrance. I would know, being the master of such things.

I was attacking the darkness. Yes, that was it.

Consider it a well-deserved harassment of a dragon that naturally confuses everyone with their insanity. Nose and Rock had warned me about watching a training session through the many eyes of Spit and Sputter. Like any two-headed dragon, it's impossible to tell whether there are really two separate minds in there or one shattered personality.

In fact, there are a lot of mysteries about this sort of dragon besides just how insane it really is. For example, is it a he or a she? It has the organs of both sexes and, thus, any two-headed dragon can mate with any other. One head will always insist the dragon is a she while the other will say the opposite. Likewise, one head will always coddle their hatchlings while the other will pretend to ignore them. As if that isn't strange enough, the heads may spontaneously switch roles, but always maintain that duplicitousness.

Such a dragon allows for some amusing scenarios during mating season, though. Not too long ago, at the very tail end of mating season, I saw two desperate Adders fighting over a two-headed dragon. They had both failed to find a mate, but the funny thing was that one adder was a male and the other was a female. It wasn't until after they turned each other into porcupines that they realized this and ended up finally mating. I bet their hatchlings turned out to be very... special.