Let's live a little bit longer [SET IT OFF]

Prolog

"Yeah?" I looked at the intercom with a startled look and could barely believe it. I know he was at home, but in this moment I was not prepared for it, or just to talk to him.
"...It's me...Can I come in?" my voice broke constantly and I felt miserable. How could something like that happen? What does this letter mean and why did he sent it?

There was no answer from him, only after a long break the sound of the opening door lock. Immediately, I went upstairs and gathered the last strength in my body to run up the stairs. Why now?
When I reached the second floor, he was already standing in the doorframe with his hand on Finn's little head. He looked like we all broken, no one could handle the news. As I came up the last two steps more slowly and focused my attention on him, the tears came slowly up.

"Finn go to your mother." he said softly to his son and slowly came towards me. I couldn't handle it anymore, not after this message. I clapped my hands in supplication and wanted to wake up out of this nightmare. This couldn't be true, it must be a dream. That... can't have been the reason.
Gentle he put his arms around my back and pulled me into a hug, while I clung sobbing to his wool sweater.
"Why is your address on the letter?!" I easily pushed away from him and looked at him with glued eyes.
"Come...Come in, okay? I don't need the attention of the neighbors." with the usual thoughtful gesture he stroked his beard. I didn't care about what the neighbors would think, I didn't care about everything at all, but I agreed.

I don't know how long we have been in the small kitchen with tea while I let him explain the whole thing to me. It was so much, so much that led to it, and only now did it slowly become clear to me. The letter too, even though it made me sick. They weren't accusations, but with every line on that damn paper, I felt miserable. I could have screamed, I wanted to scream. Crying out the frustration, the anger and the feeling of guilt. Not feeling this guilt on me, but I think that was the price for it. Had I only paid more attention to her and didn't think that she will make it again this time.

He felt silent and looked at me with a sad smile as I wiped a tear from my face and just smiled at him briefly: "Do you.... Do you think we could have done something? Anything?". What a stupid question actually, you can't change the past, even if you wanted it too deeply. Thoughtfully he crossed his arms over his chest and stared upwards as she always did. As if the answer to every question were up there. That's how it sometimes seemed to me, that she knew the answer to almost every question, even if it was sometimes a really stupid answer.
" As I knew her...No.", he answered coolly and looked down from the lamp to me, which made me almost freeze.
" You know her story... Who could have guessed how the whole thing would end.". Yes, who could have guessed that from a simple little journey to happiness, the biggest shit arises.