Let's live a little bit longer [SET IT OFF]

10

How many people would kill for it to be in my place? With old friends you never really forgot, but never missed enough to hope that the past would recur? Meeting or remember people who had more feelings for you than you could ever give back to them? To live with a band you love? I think their full fans would sell their souls for it. Watch concerts for free and  not be crushed in the masses? Many would do it. I almost think so. Yes, almost everyone would kill for it. I was the exception.

Slowly and gently, I let my fingers drift over the strings of the guitar, lost in thought, so that there was no reasonable rhythm that would resemble any song. From far away you could hear the monotonous sounds of the club and the bass could easily vibrate the metal ceiling of the bus. Barely noticeable, if you were distracted otherwise, which I wasn't. It was just me, the guitar, the night sky, and the milk bottle I'd taken out of the fridge. Of course it would work more with alcohol, but I find it a bit dangerous to sit on a bus roof and drinking alcohol. Especially if alcohol isn't so good for you.

It was nice to see everyone again, especially Dan and Zach who immediately recognized me. I will never forget the joyful cry of Zach when he saw me. I always want to be so welcomed! Yes, it was nice to see tem again. Seeing what happened to them, but at the same time, it made me sick as soon as it became quiet. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to think about everything again. Not this one spring. Not this one concert.

These memories, who brought Dan back to life ... They were buried for good reasons and now they came back. It wasn't his fault. I was glad he was there back then. It was good to have one to get rid of it all. Having a secret less, but again his face brought everything back.

 And now I sat here alone on the roof and looked sadly at the starry sky. The many thousands of lights that seem to reach infinity. Everyone seems so close to each other and yet they are billions of light years apart and are drifting farther and farther apart.

As a child, I could never sleep in hospitals, so most of the time I sat with her in front of the windows and admired this view.

"Do you know what's so exciting about the stars? Some are already dead but still glowing, they are alive, but they are actually not." Yes. Like you.

You are dead, but your memories keep haunting me as if you were still alive. Still be here, but you are not. I can't touch you anymore, no longer laugh with you, no longer watch the stars with you for hours and it makes me mad! That anyone can go on, overcome the pain, but I'm still drowning and can't get out! I don't want to feel that way anymore. I finally want to forget you, but how do you forget a person who was always there?

Sighing, I threw myself back, with the guitar next to me, loud crashing on the metal and just looked at this sea of ​​lights.

At that time they brought me sleep and peace, today they keep me awake and bring chaos.

"How did you get on the bus?" Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes and cursed the existence of humanity. I want to lie sadly on a bus and pity myself and have no discussion about how I came up here.

 I tried to put on the best artificial smile I could and sat up again to look at the other girl who was part of the crew. Sweet girl, petite, pastel-purple hair, but still had that sharpness in the eyes that can silence you. The men must stand on her, like flies on horse-apples.

 "The less you know, the better. Only important: The bus is safe. ", She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me sternly. It's good Mutti, I'm already down.

Quickly, I emptied the milk bottle, before I put on the guitar strap and let me hang down from the bus, and then land gently.

"Why are not you inside too? I thought you see your friends again after years and then you don't even go to their concert?", She looked at me incredulously and I could understand her question. Even this slight anger in the voice. I should go and cheer these idiots over happily. Only I was afraid that it could kick things even more. Since that last concert, I had never been in a crowd and the fear was greater than the joy.