The Adventures of Harry and Me (H.S.)

You Bring Me Home

I turn the light off in the kitchen as I make my way through the house, double checking to make sure all the doors are locked and the lights are off for the night. I find myself becoming extra paranoid when Harry is away for work, always checking locks twice, sometimes three times, just to make sure we are safe and secure.

I drag my body up the stairs, the weight of the day putting a strain on my body as I slowly make my way to the master bedroom. Harry is out in Los Angeles for a short work trip, has been gone for three days. He was worried about leaving me alone with two children.

"Are yeh sure you will be okay?" He asked before confirming with Jeffery that he could make it out to the meetings in LA.

"We will be just fine." I stated, trying to calm his nerves about leaving us alone, even if it means fibbing a tiny bit. "We have our routine down, and the kids are good little listeners. I think we will be just fine."

What I didn't keep in mind is that everyone has bad days, including children. And today was their bad day. It started out with Grace being upset that we were having eggs instead of pancakes. She stomped her foot in frustration, just like Harry does when he gets upset. Ethan was sad because Poppy kept taking his balls away from him, and he couldn't get them back. Grace cried when it was time for ballet; she just didn't want to go today. Ethan wanted me to hold him while I was in the loo. Grace got all dramatic when I asked her to feed Poppy, stating she 'doesn't want to feed the dog.' Ethan cried for a good thirty minutes while I tried my hardest to throw something together for dinner. Neither child wanted to take a bath, ending in me pouring water over their heads while they bawled. And both children refused to go to bed easily. Today had been a constant, stressful, frustrating, and exhausting fight.

Walking into the master bedroom, I trek to my dresser, pulling out some pajamas, taking them into the bathroom with me. I set the clothes on the counter and run the water in the sink, testing it with my fingers to make sure it's not too hot for my face. I clean my face with a washcloth, and brush my teeth, finishing my nighttime routine by stripping off my dirty clothes, replacing them with freshly cleaned pajamas.

I turn off the bathroom light and move towards the bed, my feet dragging along the soft carpet. Pulling back the sheets, my body collapses against the bed, the day's events wearing on me physically and emotionally. I hope my body will allow me to relax so I can dream of better days. Snuggling into the blankets, I reach my arm out, grabbing ahold of Harry's pillow. I bring it close to my body, cuddling it as if he were there next to me, and I inhale deeply. The smell of fresh sheets invade my nose as I breathe in the scent that is on his pillow. I shouldn't have washed the sheets yesterday; his smell would bring me comfort.

An idea comes to my mind, giving me enough energy to get out of bed and move towards the closet. I walk towards the laundry hamper and begin to dig. I sift through three days of my dirty clothes in search of something that belongs to Harry.

"Yes!!!" My tone is laced with gratification as I find a grey t-shirt crumbled at the bottom of the basket. Pulling it up to my nose, I take a deep breath, breathing in the scent that is so calming and familiar. Harry.

I leave the pile of dirty clothes on the floor as I make my way to the bed, shirt in hand. Sliding my feet across the carpet, I stop in front of the telly, opening our wedding video and placing it into the player, knowing his voice and face will bring some comfort.

Climbing on the bed, I grab his pillow, pulling the shirt over the top, making a makeshift Harry in the process. I fluff the pillow a few times, adjusting it, and placing it in the same spot where Harry lays.

Wrapping my arms around the shirt covered pillow, I bring it close to my body, breathing in the smell of my husband. Tears fill my eyes, sitting along the edge ready to fall. The smell I didn't realize I missed. The smell I didn't realize I wanted. The smell I didn't realize I needed after this long day. I close my eyes, taking in his unique and special smell and his deep loving voice that is playing through the speakers. I allow the tears to make paths down my cheeks, releasing the tension and stress from the day.

Taking a breath inward, I think back to the first time we cuddled. We were alone at his house in LA watching The Notebook. I remember the appalled look of horror on Harry's face when he found I had never seen the 'masterpiece'. He insisted it was the film for the night. We started out just sitting together, eating popcorn and enjoying the movie. Not exactly sure what we were doing, we slowly relaxed into each other. Harry brought his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I experienced a feeling unlike anything I have ever experienced. I felt protected and safe. His arms were warm and loving. I felt like I could accomplish anything I wanted, surrounded by his support and love. If I could stay in his arms forever, I would.

His smell brings back those moments where I cuddled into his chest. Moments where I always felt his warmth and comfort no matter the situation. We could be experiencing a moment of sadness, excitement, joy, reunion, or loss, but the smell and feeling of warmth and comfort is always the same. I am loved. Harry loves me. He loves me if I had a good day; he loves me if I have a bad day.

I breath in his smell again as I listen to his voice repeating the vows that were said on that beautiful August day. They bring comfort during this hard night and help calm my heart that is aching for my husband's sweet and loving cuddles.

I rest my head on the T-shirt, closing my eyes and imagining my husband's chest, safe and warm. My tears seem to slow as the worries and hard times of the day slowly melt away. The lyrics from one of Harry's songs float along in my head.

Wherever I go, you bring me home

His smell, his voice, the memories, bring him home. Wherever he is, he will be in my heart, making me feel warm and loved.