I clutched my knees in bed. I didn't think making a decision would be this hard. Even if I knew who I really love. Even if that person was so close he had always been too hard to have given a care for.
The truth was that I do care about him. So much that it hurts when I think about how he could have had a much better fianće than me.
However, I was going to be a little selfish. I also want to see him everyday connected from good morning to good night. I want to experience those sweet nothings in our daily wedded lives.
Before I knew it, I got out of bed and rushed over to his room. Soon enough, I was already at his doorstep and anxiety rushed through me.
It didn't seem to matter that it was midnight and I just felt like running into his arms right then.
Was I really going to confess? Have I finally found the courage to do something right for once?
Just as I was about to knock, the door opened. Revealing an angry Zen. He looked surprised when he saw me.
"Lera, what're you doing here at this time?" he questioned. I found myself unable to answer. Behind him was Izana in the room.
Despite his cool posture and poised looks, Izana seemed as if he was troubled as his eyes finally rested upon me. He also looked like he wanted to ask the reason for me being there at an inconvenient time.
I finally converted my attention back to Zen and smiled awkwardly. "I...I was just going to ask....uh...whether going back to my homeland for the coronation was okay or not."
"At this time?" Now Izana asked. He had his arms folded and he didn't seem to appreciate my presence that much. Not after what happened between Zen and me.
"Ah...yes! I needed to since it was bugging me all night...that I, um, couldn't sleep!" I scurried with my answers with my pitch going off hand.
It was so unladylike that I was sure Father would banish me for good if he were here. Well, in a way, he did....
"Your request is approved. I was going to confirm it to you the next day either way." Izana said sternly. His voice sounded like he was annoyed with me.
"Ahh....thank you. Then, I shall return to my room...." I said softly and turned around to walk back to my room. I heard the door closed and footsteps coming after me.
It turned out to be Zen. "Lera, so you're going to be leaving Clarines for a while?" he asked. I nodded. "For a few weeks, yes."
I stopped in my steps and Zen followed my actions. "What's wrong, Lera?" he asked and I turned to face him directly. "I noticed that you looked angry back then. What was the matter?" I asked and Zen cowered his head in shame.
"It's uh...it's a long story." Zen said and I could clearly see that he wouldn't be telling me the truth. "Zen...." I sighed painfully. "Please...tell me. I wish to know." I asked.
Zen's eyes avoided mine and wandered around to anywhere but me. It was certain that he was hiding something very serious.
"It is fine....if you won't tell me, I shall not pry into this matter any longer." I said. I felt myself being cold. I felt like I was the unnecessary vessel of the whole group.
And why continue when I could just leave? Back to Arinos. The coronation would be my best chance. Father and Kisa won't be welcoming but I can always count on Mother.
I could go back to being a second princess. I could finally return things to the way they were before. Izana hated the very sight of me due to the misunderstanding and Zen wouldn't trust me.
"Lera....!" Zen called out again after I have walked a few steps away from him. I continued on, not caring whatever he had to say.
For the first time in my life, I finally found out the one path that I should take. Home. I will be returning home first thing tomorrow morning.
Therefore, I went to the castle hall where the workers there was on standby for 24 hours. I requested a carriage with sufficient horses for the journey back home. Also, the clerk seemed to understand that I didn't want anyone to know the reason why.
He simply said he would get them ready at the best of his abilities and reminded me to arrive at the castle grounds by dawn.
I thanked the clerk and went back to my room to get ready. I only took a few ordinary clothing since it would be overly excessive to bring the whole wardrobe.
That night, I went to sleep after having a flow of thought processes pass through my mind. Most were merely about what I was going to do with my future. And about..him...
♢♢♢
As planned, I went to the departure area and climbed onto my designated carriage. It had a humble theme to it as I ordered the clerk to not make it eye-catching.
The coachman finally started the carriage to move and I felt the seat vibrate from the motion. The time had finally come for me to return home to clear things up.
I only had two companions with me. One escort and the coachman. I wish Kinare had been with me. She would surely be able to help me both physically and mentally on this trip.
"Heya...!" the coachman whipped the horses to start. I took one last glance at the castle from the carriage window. Tears were trickling from the edge of my eyes and soon, I found myself crying.
I would surely miss everyone. And everything. I also would have to apologize to the King and Queen later for my unsupervised return.
It took longer than four hours for the carriage to stop and have a rest on the plain fields of the outskirts of Clarines. I took in the flowery scent.
I asked both the escort and coachman to kindly join me for lunch. They told me that they were peasants from the countryside but the King took them in and gave them their respectable jobs.
I began to understand how Clarines was ruled so fairly. Each and every citizen was given an equal chance and slavery was supposedly banned.
Perhaps Kisa would take in what I have to tell her about Clarines. Maybe both Father and Kisa would finally recognize that I was not totally useless.
It was an enjoyable experience despite having left the castle due to my circumstances. Regret rushed through me as I remembered that I hadn't said goodbye to Shirayuki.
I wonder how she is then. Along with everyone in the castle. Hopefully they would understand me by the letter that I left to tell that I was just returning to Arinos for some reasons.
Just when my head was flowing with thoughts, I heard a scream nearby. The sound escalated quickly but it surely sounded like a woman crying for help.
I immediately got up and the two men with me did the same. "Milady, it is not safe for you to go alone! Please, it is best we continue on."
I got silent for a moment before responding, "If I don't go, then nobody would be able to help the poor woman. There is no help around for more than twenty miles. Even if I may supposedly die in this case.....I will have to...."
I grabbed a horse and got onto it. Then I rode it towards the direction where the scream was heard. Luckily, I was able to bring my dagger with me in my bag which was full of usual items.
Here I go again. Risking my life without even properly thinking the consequences....
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Bewitched (Snow White with the Red Hair Fanfic)
FanfictionLera is the second princess of the Arinos Kingdom which lies just north of Clarines. Realizing her position as one who would never rule her own kingdom, her parents proposed a marriage with her and the Prince of Clarines. But when she set out to fin...