Now is a Scary Word

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The day was finally over. Jodie could hardly believe she had survived another seven hours in this disgustingly familiar place. She scooped up her textbooks and held them firmly against her chest. Being too nervous to bump into anyone, she patiently waited while the rest of the bustling class filed messily out the door and down the echoey hallway. It was only then that she hooked her fingers under her chair and dragged it to the back of the room, neatly placing it next to the already stacked chairs. The building was dead silent once Jodie finally exited the classroom. She briskly unzipped her bag and made sure not to damage her books whilst packing them up for the walk home. Despite the jarring first impression Jodie Calverson portrays, she truely does enjoy learning. School for her had simply always been difficult. It had always seemed to be overflowing with the wrong kinds of people. People who have no desire to be educated, for whatever reason. People who have no plans for later life other than getting wasted and stoned every night. Being in this facility that is so caught up in getting the 95% of people who don't want TO learn compromises education for the people who do want to learn. Jodie replayed these thoughts every afternoon. As she has never been good at talking to strangers, she often finds herself wandering through the empty shell of this school, vacant of life. She is able to be alone with her mind.

Jodie woke herself up from her daydream. 'I need to stop dwelling on this', she said to herself, 'there's only a few more weeks of year 12 left'. It was true. Only 3 weeks remained in her high school life. It was odd to think about. She had become so accustomed to waking up at 6:30, being in a constant state of movement as she hurried around trying to prepare herself for school. Unlike her peers, Jodie had become less and less particular about how she looked. In year 9 specifically, she could recall spending at least an hour on makeup. In the years post this, it became apparent that spending that amount of time beating your face with a sponge and clogging your nose with various powers was ridiculous. Jodie has since made the decision to discard all this, and stop trying to hide behind a wall of face paint and eyeliner. Her skin is not covered in 4 layers of foundation, powder and highlight, but instead a thin layer of tinted moisturiser. Her hair is just as it has always been, long, brown and straight. It has become a constant thing in her life. It seems silly, but having these helps ease Jodie's anxiety since she was diagnosed in year 8. The only "alternative" or "crazy" thing Jodie adorns her face with is a thin, silver nose ring. It is much less prominent than other girls'. It sits flush against her rounded nostril, hidden from sight unless directly looked at. No one has really ever understood why Jodie went backwards, deciding to wear less makeup, dress less fancy and overall draw less attention to herself. After all, most of the other students mentalities was that the only thing that mattered was getting a partner as soon as possible. The lack of virgins at Jodie's high school would make anyone sick to their stomach.

Jodie has always felt the need to be slightly.. different and unique. When she was much younger, only about 12, she made a pact with herself: "If I want to do what I want to do, I need to let romance take a back seat". She felt determined to stick to this, and so she did. Jodie, now 17, had never held hands, kissed or even been asked out by a guy. However, this was something she took as a badge of honour, and was very proud to say. But, this is only "saying". Deep down, Jodie longed for someone to love her. Someone to think that she is perfect. Someone who will love and protect and listen to her no matter what. She had a tendency to build walls around herself, saying "oh romance is so dumb" or "you should just avoid dating". This is not how she really felt, but this was the "reputation" she had, and after 5 years, there was no changing that in the minds of others. Furthermore, she was ridiculously nervous around anyone she considered attractive, which at her school, was not many. There was this one boy, Angus Kite, who was in her mind absolutely gorgeous. However, after finally approaching him, she quickly learned by the poisonous sent on his breath that he was a heavy smoker, which for her was a big no no. She consulted some friends about him, and began to find out some things which in her opinion may have been better left a mystery, like the fact that he had had an orgy with three teachers and smoked crack on a regular basis. 'That's just what i get for judging off of looks', she said.