Iniquity: a tale of guilt and love || Completed

20. Longing!

~ Sometimes there is only pain in a relationship, but even that is a sign that the relation is still not dead~

Tum jane nahi ye dard mera,
Ya jaan k abhi anjaane ho!
( Don't you know my pain,
Or you act like you don't even if you do?)

Ek pal ye lage apne ho tum,
Ek pal ye lage begane ho!
( One moment it feels you are mine,
But the next moment you seem a stranger)

Dil na ye paheli, bujha saka!
Tum kon piya, tum kon piya!
( My heart couldn't solve this riddle,
Who are you love? Who are you)

Ye bhed tumhi ab kholo zara,
Tum kon piya, tum kon piya.
(Please reveal this secret now,
Who are you love, who are you?)

Suman sat beside a sleeping Shravan, her eyes fixed at his face. How had life twisted this way, forming a puzzle all around her, and expected her to solve it single handedly? A tear drop rolled down her right cheek as she took in his bluish black wounds all over, the creases on his forehead and the thick stuble. Her left hand was still resting on his head, her fingers intertwined in his hairs, as if they had been there for a long time. This wasn't the man she had fallen for, he was a withered form of his former self, and she was scared to loose him again,just not to betrayals and lie this time, but to the darkness that was threatening to drown him in.

Bin bole jo tum khte ho, bin bole hi wo sun lu mai,
Bharke tumko in aankho me, kuch khwab naye se bun lu mai.
( Everything you say without speaking, I hear it all, without speaking too.
I want you to fill you in my orbs, and weave new dreams around you)

Na apna aap dikhayi du, jab dekhu khud ko darpan me,
Ye mai hu ya fir tum hi ho man uljha h is uljhan me.
(I don't see myself anymore when I look at the mirror.
Is it me or you only love, I am confused with this confusion.)

Mujhe apne rang me rang liya,
Tum kon piya, tum kon piya.
( You colored me in your colours,
Who are you my love, who are you).

Few hours went by but like the last few nights, Suman could not sleep. Her gaze lingered between his face and the window, where the last few minutes of the night were on the verge of mingling with the first few rays of the dawn. It was the time for dawn, again, and a very tiny smile made its way on her otherwise dull and melancholic face.
But then, they say happiness lasts for a reply short time. So did hers. Suman was about to get up and go to the window, when she heard him mumbling incoherently and moving restlessly. Suman rushed to his side immediately and found him sweating heavily. She took the towel from the wide drawer and patted his forehead, cheeks and neck dry, simultaneously running her fingers through her hairs and mumbling something into his ears.

" Shravan, it's sumo. I am there. I am there", she spoke gulping down her sobs that were churning her insides looking him that restless. The dark bags under his eyes looked more prominent, and the way he cried out in pain every time he turned and tossed, courtesy the wounds on his entire back and chest, was almost like burning her alive.

A few seconds later, Shravan jerked open his eyes and found Suman beside him. Unconsciously, he wrapped his right hand around her, and again went back to his sleep, a little peaceful this time. Suman covered her mouth with her left hand, to muffle the sound of her cries. She had heard his voice after seven days of torture. Even though it was hushed, and she could not make out anything from it, atleast the sensation of his vocal cords vibrating was like home to her today.
That was when she realized again, anything that had been close to a home for her, had to be him. No matter how bitter they grew, how distant they became, or how much silence prevailed between them, home to her had to be him.

When she could not take the burden anymore, she rushed into the washroom and cried her heart out. Suman knew she could not succumb now, and it was important for her to let it all out somehow, until she had the grace to do it in his embrace. Wiping her tears, she came out. It was already morning by then. She came out of his room to make some tea for that irritating headache but what she saw shocked her.

Since the flat was one BHK and Shravan was in the bedroom with Suman, others had made beds on the floor and spent the night. Ramanath and nirmala were on one side of the couch, with ram's hand draped around his wife's waist comfortably and the sight made Suman delightful but on the other side of the couch, she could see pushkar sleeping on preeti's bosom and the way she was holding him close, running her hands through her fingers again and again, suman could tell that they haven't slept for a minute the entire night and probably pushkar had been weeping, for a long, long time. Suman's heart constricted in pain. How had all of them come this way, on a path of pain and suffering, which looked like a dead end now? Sighing she went back into his room, and sat at her earlier place,beside his head, and then leaned to drop a feather kiss on his forehead. She held her hand in his and kissed his knuckles and then again kissed his forehead.

" I wish I could just kiss your pain away!", A mumble left her lips before she kissed the area just above his heart, unaware of the tear drops that had wet his shirt too, alongside.

Dil se h jude h dil apne, kahne ko koi rishta hi nyi,
Is pakija se bandhan ko duniya me koi samjha hi nhi.
( Our hearts are connected even though there is no name for our relationship,
A bond this pure isn't something anyone in the world would understand)

Jab ghav lage koi tumko, toh dard yha bhi hota h,
Jab nam ho tumahri ye aankhein,toh dil ye mera bhi rota hai.
(Every time you are hurt, it pains me too.
Every time your eyes are wet, my heart cried aloud too)

Tumne bhi magar ye puch liya,
Tum kon piya, tum kon piya!
( And yet even you asked me,
Who are you my love, who are you!)
_________________________

Hello,
So finally I am back!
And so are the updates.
Do tell how you liked this one,and do hear the song when you read. The lyrics are very meaningful.

Also, as you know we are nearing the second anniversary of EDKV soon, Edkvian has planned something special and I want all of you to contribute.
Please check the book in her profile. It has all the necessary information.
Thanku.