it's just a crush .

f o u r .

from chapter 3 , ' i let out a fake laugh and act as if i wasn't just balling. '
a/n : what matt says is in regular font , what casey says is in bold.

" im not crying. haha it's okay .. "
i stay quiet after i say that. i put myself on mute so i could take a deep breath.
" yes you are ! i know you still have feelings for samuel. im sorry. i could tell today when i was in your classes. when someone would mention him , you would look down. it makes me so mad. why the hell are you letting him get to you ? it's already been more than 2 months. "

wait , what is he mad about ? it's his best friend. yeah ive dissed him for the past 3 months .. but he knows it's for samuel.

" look ! you dont know what it's like to truly love someone and be used by them for sex ! it's different for you ! you dont have feelings for anyone ! "
there was just silence until i broke it asking,
" what are you mad about though ? "
i ask with a slight attitude.
" the fact that samuel doesn't realize how down you are for him. you're dissing every guy for him even though you guys aren't even together. you're willing to wait on him to stop being a stubborn douchebag and go out with you. i notice that. i see how you walk slowly in the halls. looking down at the floor with your headphones in. you're sad. you're tired of waiting on him. he doesn't realize what he has. you're so cool , chill , gorgeous .. funny. i can go on for days. you need someone who brings the best out of you. not someone who makes you depressed and sad. but what are you talking about ? using you for sex ? what has he done ? "
i explain to him how me and samuel hung out today  and he just tried to force me to give in. once i finished my story i began to cry even more.
matt is a self centered and conceited guy who always gets the easy way , how did he realize that ? i never knew he watched me. every time he saw me he would give me a big hug and walk me to class. but that was only when he saw me. im the shortest girl in the 10th grade. my friends make fun of me because i would literally blend in with 7th graders if there were any. but still , I just realized all of this. before i got with samuel i was happy , loud , enthusiastic. i made everybody laugh. i joked around a lot.
" casey , please dont cry babe. im here for you. let me show you different. "
i didnt know what to say. whether to diss him .. lead him on. i have to get over samuel. i have to. i tried to dodge what he said and ask ,
" how long have you noticed that for ? "
then stay quiet waiting for his answer .
" that isn't the point .. i want to show you im different. that you can get over him. let me show you it's possible. "
" why do you care so much ? you're acting like you like me.. like if you have feelings. you've never really had feelings for a girl. everybody knows how you are. every girlfriend you've had you cheated on with 2 other girls. why do you all of a sudden care ? "
i respond with a slight attitude. it honestly angers me , i know what he's trying to do. and he knows how i feel.
" cause maybe i do !! im not used to being dissed .. or chasing after one girl for like 4 months ! okay ! you're different. you dont throw yourself at me and you're so beautiful snd funny and dont even try or notice it. . i want you . "
i don't know what to say .. im sleepy ? im busy ? i can't let myself fall for him.
" i tired .. sowwy.. "
i say in a baby voice. what in the hell else do i say ? i can't say i feel the same way. im so confused.
" aww your voice is so cute ! "
he says in a baby voice trying to mock me.
" like you .. "
im trying to get over samuel .. fuck it. might as well flirt , im not saving myself for him anymore.
" oooh. you've never flirted with me before or called me cute. "
" haha .. yehhh i never really flirt with guys. so feel special. "
i say then winking at him. i look at myself and see the stained tears on my face from earlier. ( remember we're on FaceTime )
" can i go see you ? "
" it's 2 in the morning.. um no "
" please ? "
he continues begging for the next 20 minutes. i refuse to let him. i don't want him driving so late on a friday night. not happening.
" ive never begged a girl to let me see her just to give her a hug. please ? im not taking no for an answer "
" well i said no and you're taking it. so ?... you can come see me tomorrow. goodnight "
" deal. but i know you're not tired. you look like you just drank a red bull. "
okay .. im not tired.. but i don't want to talk about my feelings right now. i just wanted to chill and get my mind off of everything so i decided to roll a blunt. there was a few seconds of silence until i asked him if he smoked.

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this chapter is already at 912 words .. next chapter😛... im sorry if some of you have a problem with weed.. i just thought it'd be a good add on.