Journal Of A Companion (Matt Smith Fanfiction)

Part IX ~ I'm A Train Wreck

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PART IX

I'M A TRAIN WRECK

The first two months of my time here on set were gone. I survived two whole months as an actress on Doctor Who and so far, I was ever told I was excellent! The announcement about me being in the show finally went public and of course, no one knew who I am, but Matt assured me that that quickly changes after the first episode with you in it airs. I’ll be as remembered as Rose, Martha, Donna and Amy.

Speaking of Matt, he had become something of a close friend of mine. Not a best friend exactly, but he was getting there. We had become practically inseparable. Weekends, when we were allowed off set, we’d go to pubs for a drink – sometimes he would help me by going shopping with me. Weekday nights, we were in my trailer or his, practicing out lines together. Although we would often lose focus and start talking and laughing about any random stuff. He taught me to relax more when it came to acting and I was very grateful to have him around. We had inside jokes we bring up on set, a secret handshake we did when we would greet each other and we were just silly together. The rude Matt I had met my first day was long gone, this was Matt, the guy I loved to be around. Though both Matts were really hot. Yes, though he was my close friend, I still found him wildly attractive.

That’s why I felt a tad uncomfortable when Moffat came to me and announced that Annie was going to fall for the Doctor and we would share not one, but two kissing scenes.

Now, I knew this would be interesting to the show, a fight between Annie and River – River would obviously win – but what worried me was kissing Matt. Moffat admitted having the idea after he saw how well Matt and I got along and thought there was a real connection he didn’t have with Alex Kingston – met her a week ago, a real sweetheart in person.

I didn’t feel exactly at ease that night when Matt came over to my trailer to run lines as usual.

“Ready to practice?” he asked, looking upbeat and energetic.

“Yeah, sure,” I smiled as we went over to my dining table.

We sat face to face as usual. I was tense and nervous. The truth is that I didn’t know if I wanted to kiss him or not. He was… great! He was just a great guy that I could be more than friends with, but at the same time, I was scared to have feelings for him from fear of rejection. I knew the sting of being turned down by a friend way to well. I started playing with my hair, looking at my spilt ends as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world.

“I know what’s bothering you, he finally spoke up after I wasn’t saying anything. “You’re nervous that we have to kiss. But think about it this way, is a kiss really a big deal?”

I thought about it for a moment.

“Maybe… when you haven’t kissed anyone in 3 years,” I shrugged.

“3 years? That’s impossible, you’re gorgeous!” he exclaimed, looking scandalized.

I couldn’t help but blush a little and grin to the side. I shook my head.

“You know what? It’s acting! And stage kisses don’t count. I guess I was over thinking it. Let’s practice,” I said.

He made me feel so comfortable that running the lines of our intimate and emotional scene was easy. A good half an hour later, we approached the kiss.