Insanely, Madly, Perfectly (Reddie)

this was real. everything was.

richie was scheduled to leave on a tuesday, which was only four short days away. it was a week before school started, and the day after beverly left. eddie was watching as richie cried. the boy was crying so hard, eddie had been, on more than one occasion, tempted to give him the inhaler. eddie was silent about it. he wasn't sobbing out loud, but there were tears running down his red cheeks. he couldn't believe it. he didn't want to believe it.

"eddie i'm so sorry," richie said, covering his mouth, trying to block the sobs. eddie pulled the taller boy into his arms without saying anything. "i'm so, so, so sor-"

"stop, richie," eddie whispered, running his fingers through the boy's hair. the shorter boy had bitten his lip to keep from crying, and it was now almost bleeding.

"please do something, eddie! cry, yell, hit me, please just do something!" richie cried. eddie closed his eyes momentarily, making a few tears drip from his eyelashes.

"i love you so much," eddie said, his bottom lip trembling.

"i love you too," richie said. eddie broke. one second he was quiet, the next he was sobbing and hyperventilating. richie tightened his grip, pulling eddie into his lap. there was a loud knock at his bedroom door.

"i stubbed my toe!" eddie screamed, trying to give a reason for the crying. he remembered locking the door, therefore sonia wouldn't be able to come in.

"let me in, eddie!"

"fuck off!" he screamed again, shoving his face into richie's shoulder. after pounding on the door a few more times, sonia stomped back to her room. eddie was shaking, his eyes closed.

"i'm sorry," richie whispered, kissing eddie's bruised neck.

"don't be," eddie cried quietly. the two took in the moment for awhile. richie was leaving, and he didn't know for how long. he knew eddie was hurting, and that he was trying to be strong for richie. but he couldn't blame eddie for wanting him to stay; he wanted to stay too.

richie continued to cry quietly, feeling absolutely awful for making eddie sob like this.

"just b-breathe, richie," eddie said, trying to control himself. eddie, you're literally sobbing so hard you're hiccupping, and you're telling me to breathe.

"eddie?"

"hm?"

"i'm just really sorry."

"richie, stop," eddie said sternly. richie had no reason to be sorry. how was this his fault? no, it was his dad's fault.

"i'll write you every day, and i'll visit you, and i'll come back for you, and i'll cal-"

"its okay, richie," eddie interrupted. richie nodded slowly, his face still buried in the smaller boy's neck.

twenty minutes. they stayed in that room hugging and crying for twenty minutes. eddie couldn't recall a time when he'd felt this heartbroken and afraid except for the encounter on neibolt street. just when he thought things were going to get better, they got much worse. they had just gotten together. he was in heaven, but all good things come to a close, and now he was floating back down to reality. this was real. everything was.

he had really become richie's boyfriend, just to have him ripped away. he had really been happy, and now it was destroyed. obliterated by reality. this is real. this is real. this is real. make it stop! this is real, make it stop! i don't want it to be real! save me, richie! i don't want it to be real! please, please make it stop!

"is this real?" eddie whispered once they had calmed down their crying.

"yeah. i think so," richie joked without a smile. eddie closed his eyes tightly. stop, stop, stop! i don't want this reality! fuck, make it stop! his mind was screaming at him, trying to convince him that this was just one of those shitty nightmares, and he would wake up in richie's arms.

but he already was in richie's arms, and he already was awake. right?

"pinch me," eddie told his boyfriend, who simply sighed and shook his head.

"i've already tried. it doesn't work," richie admitted, showing eddie his red hand. eddie kissed the small marks where richie's ragged, bitten fingernails had dug into the skin, and held his boyfriend tighter.

"that was the real reason i was crying that day," richie whispered, his voice wavering near the end. eddie kissed his cheek, and wiped an oncoming tear off of it.

"four days," eddie said, keeping a hand on richie's cheek.

"four days," richie confirmed with a sigh.

"bill wants to meet monday?" eddie asked.

"yeah. probably wants us to say bye to bev."

"you haven't told anyone else you're leaving?"

"no, but i'm sure i will at this meeting thing."

"you have to, richie."

"i know."

they were still wrapped in a tight hug, and had no desire to let go, but they both knew richie would have to leave soon. but eddie didn't want him to. they had the rest of that day, saturday, sunday, monday, and a little bit of tuesday left.

"my dad doesn't work today. i should go," richie said, removing his face from eddie's shoulder. he picked up the hoodie the other boy had left on the floor, and handed it to richie, who gave him a small smile.

"i'm so sorry that you even have to leave. its so fucked up," eddie commented as richie pulled him into a quick hug.

"don't worry about it, eds. its not your fault," he said, kissing eddie's forehead. how can I not worry?

"i love you," eddie said, swallowing the lump reappearing in his throat.

"i love you too," the two shared a kiss before richie turned to open the window, eddie right behind him.

"what're you doing?" richie asked, twisting the lock.

"i'm walking you home," eddie said simply, making richie smile, and give him another kiss.

"be careful," eddie reminded him quickly as he began to climb down the tree.

"will do," richie called, focusing on his actions. once he reached the bottom, eddie took a deep breath, and reached out to grasp the first branch.

"watch your footing," richie said quickly, obviously a bit nervous. eddie didn't respond, but instead stepped onto the first branch nervously. his hands were shaking, and he didn't want to move.

"eddie?"

"yeah?"

"just go through the front door," richie said with a slight smirk. eddie sighed, and stepped back inside his room.

"i'll be right out," eddie called to his boyfriend, who nodded. eddie walked across his room, and quietly unlocked his door, cracking it open. please, don't let her hear me. he tip-toed out, going slowly, trying to figure out where the floor would creak.

he had made it down to the kitchen without incident, but when he took a wrong step, the floor was so loud it made him jump.

"eddie? is that you?" sonia called from the living room. she had woken up, and was now hustling into the kitchen after him. eddie cursed under his breath, and broke into a sprint for the front door. he could see richie looking sad and somewhat bored just outside the screen door, and before he knew it, he was slamming his hand into the push-lock, making the warm breeze hit his face. richie jumped slightly, and immediately turned to face the door, backing up slightly.

"run!" eddie yelled, leaping off the porch stairs, and grabbing richie's arm. before being yanked away by eddie, he caught a glimpse of the over-protective mother coming out the door, shaking a huge fist in frustration.