Chapter 11: Let Me Explain.
Alex's POV:
I wandered into the foyer, seeing Neil standing with all his friends on the grad benches. I faked a smile at him, and he walked over and out the door. I followed him, my feet dragging. I couldn't stop thinking about all the times Kade had looked at me. He had a longing in his eyes..but when he looked at that girl, desire filled them. I clenched my fists in anger, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.
We got to the car, and I opened the door. I slid in, head down. Neil didn't say anything, only turned on the music and started the car.
I rolled down the window and pulled my hair elastic out, letting my hair shower over my shoulders as he pulled out of the school parking lot. We passed the smoke pit, and he sped home.
The ride home was silent, Internet Friends blasting through the mstereos.
"You blocked me on Facebook, now you have to die."
I smiled a cruel smile. That's how I was feeling.
When we finally arrived home, I thanked Neil quietly for the ride and then walked up to the front door, punching in the code.
I pushed through the door and kicked my shoes off, flying up the stairs. I ignored my dog barking at me and threw my bag to the floor.I grabbed a muffin and rushed to my room. I slammed the door shut, falling onto my bed. I hit the radio with my foot, making it play, and then using the remote to turn it up until the bass was rattling my table. Eminems lyrics pounded through my skull.
"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for."
The tears slid down my cheeks silently, but there was rage behind them. I leaned up, ripping sheets of lyrics off my walls, shredding them. After the last lyrics played, I sank down to the floor, staring around in horror. All my songs...
"FUCK!" I yelled. Suddenly, I let it overcome me, and sobs racked through my body. Why did I even care? He wasn't anything to me..I barely knew him.
I hugged my knees, not realizing how drowsy I was until I fell asleep.
Kade's POV:
I got off the bus, somehow yearning yet dreading entering the house. I had fucked up..I thought it was a big game. So I wanted to make Alex jealous. But I had fucked up big time. The sadness in her eyes as that girl, I forgot her name, kissed me.
I walked up to the front door, not sure of what I should do. Knock or just walk in? I decided on the latter, and entered the house.
I slid my shoes off, petting Salt as she ran up to me. I walked up the stairs, dropping my bag beside Alex's.
I walked into the kitchen, grabbing an apple and biting down on it, wiping away the juices that dripped onto my chin.
I turned around and saw Neil sitting on the couch. He had his headphones in and was staring at the screen. I stepped forward, and the sudden movement caused him to pull out his headphones and close the laptop.
"hey.." he said, looking at me curiously.
"hi." I mumbled.
"Toss me an apple, eh?" he laughed as I threw one at him. He caught it and took a big bite.
"where's Alex?" I asked nonchalantly.
"In her room." he replied. "I heard her ripping something and then she yelled fuck so I left her alone."
I gasped softly. What was I going to do?
"thanks." I muttered.
I walked down the hallway silently, my footsteps barely making a sound. I stopped in the bathroom first, flipping on the light. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. What had I done? My eyes stared back at me, so I flipped the light off and exited quickly.
I stopped at her door, putting my ear against it and not hearing anything except for Eminem and Rihanna's angry words.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie."
I could tell that she was feeling like that, and I felt terrible making her feel like that. I knocked softly.
"Alex?" I called gently through the door. No answer. I slowly turned the handle, pushing the door open wide.
I saw her curled up, fast asleep on a huge mess of ripped papers. I picked one up and read the lyrics. "You are the one I want, the one I need." I recognized her writing already. I sighed as I realized she wasn't going to wake up.
I leaned down, putting a hand under her back and her knees, picking her up bridal style and placing her gently on the bed. I wrapped her in my sweater, her thin singlet not doing anything to keep her warm and then pulled the blanket up over her. Her curls were covering her face, and my cool fingers reached up to brush them away. I saw her eyes were puffy and red from crying. I sighed softly, knowing it was my fault. I turned down her music, changing it to Jack Johnson so she could sleep easy. I leaned back over her, making sure she was covered. I pulled her blind down and looked down at her only last time. My fingers brushed her soft cheek as I leaned down and gave her a lingering kiss on her forehead.
I stood up abruptly when I heard Neil walk down the hall and I stepped out, looking back once more. Her curls surrounded her head like a halo and she had a small smile on her face. What was she dreaming of? I smiled dreamily and bent down, scooping up all the bits and pieces of paper, sliding them into my jeans back pocket. I slowly closed the door and went down the hallway.
