alaska - hariana

1.3 : at one-forty-two

*trigger warning, PLEASE read with caution.*

Ariana pulled away from Louis' arms, and she raced towards Alaska. Her best friend, her rock, her diary, her love, her light, her everything now swung from a tree.

"Get her down from there! Get her down, help her! Let her breathe again, please!" She cried, though she already knew her soul had left.

Her voice ached from screaming, it was so raw, honey couldn't soothe it. Her voice was laced with pain, because the one girl she thought she would always have, the one girl that believed in her, the girl she loved most, the girl that protected her was now high in the sky, was now what she was made of: a star.

The blonde hair that casted over her face seemed grey and dull, her skin seemed snow white, and Ariana didn't even want to think what her eyes looked like. She wanted the oceans to be what she remembered, not something absolutely terrible.

You could hear their hearts shattering with every movement they made, because the one thing that kept them going could not even keep herself going. She couldn't keep herself afloat when trying to keep everyone else from drowning, while their lungs were filling with air hers were burning her alive, her body was choking her because she wanted to be able to breathe just like everybody else -

But instead, she suffocated.

She choked on life, a free-fall of thrills and obstacles, a miracle she wished she could forever cherish was ripped away. She couldn't keep herself together and it's not her fault, she's been doing this her whole life, but it was too much.

The first blue and red lights flashed at two-seventeen AM, at two-eighteen the first responders found Ariana holding Alaska's hand, looking up at her begging for her to come back, to see her sunflowers fall upon her chest, they saw Niall, Liam, Zayn and Louis all together, silently sobbing, wishing this nightmare to not be true. And then there was Harry, staring off at Ariana and watching Alaska sway, at two-nineteen he threw up.

"We've got a ten-fifty-six, send out an ambulance." A faint voice of an officer spoke into his speaker.

Another one slowly approached Ariana, "Ma'am, I need you to step away from the body, please."

He pried her warm hands from Alaska's cold ones, Ariana screaming to let her go, and Louis helping the officer to get her away from the scene.

Zayn never thought he would have to suffer this pain again, you think it wouldn't hurt as bad the first time, but it hurts so much more the second.

At two-twenty-seven an ambulance and more responders arrived, and Ariana was sat on the police car calling her mom.

"Mom," Ariana sobbed into the phone, "I need that money now."

Red and blue lights flashed across their faces, screams escaping Ariana's lips, tears flowing. Her lips even began to bleed she was biting them so hard to stop herself from screaming. Her palms hurt. She tried to ignore it as she continued to talk to her mom.

At two-forty-three, that's when four boys watched their sister be placed in a body bag, and onto a wheeler.

At two-forty-four, that was when Ariana saw the body bag, and her mom heard her screams.

"Alaska! Please, no!" She whimpered, her voice couldn't bare the pain anymore.

She raced toward her best friend, and police officers tried to grab her, but no one would stop her. She flopped herself beside the wheeler, and tried to find her hands wanting to hold them one last time, but all she felt was her body being lifted front the ground by Louis, and passing her to Harry, where he held her like a baby as she silently cried.

-

No scale could ever show how bad this hurt, her whole heart had been ripped out, with blood running down her body. It was every cherry blossom tree turning grey, and blowing away in the wind, it was every rose turning brown and crippling it was every star burning out, it was the world crashing down.

That wasn't a lie, her world did crash down. When at one AM, her best friend walked into the woods, when at one-fifteen she finally decided on what tree. When at one-thirty-three she finally finished tying the rope, and when at one-forty-two, after the rope being around her neck for nine minutes she sealed her fate, and let her body fall and jerk, until finally her soul was free.

Until finally, she became one of the stars, something she's always wanted to be since she was a little girl, she was finally going to be a constellation.

-

The next day, Ariana didn't talk. She was pale, and covered in Harry's sweater with Louis sitting next to her in the police station as he tried his best to tell them everything that happened without losing it.

Niall, Zayn and Liam made calls, informed people of what had happened, and even started arranging the funeral, but they wanted Ariana to do that. They knew she would know what Alaska would have wanted.

And Harry stayed outside throwing up because the image just replays and he can't stop hearing her screams, it was sickening and he hurt. He hurt because he couldn't help her, her hurt because he knew Ariana was hurt, her hurt because he knew his best mates were hurt. He hurt, because he knew Alaska was hurt.

-

Ariana didn't sleep, her thoughts ran through her mind and she stared out the hotel window, into the city lights wondering what they would have been doing right now. But instead, they were getting ready to fly back to London, and give a heartbroken funeral service.

Harry saw her shaking body, and wrapped his arms around her. She cried, he stayed silent, because no words could ever fix the pain she was in.

No words could soother her to sleep, or fix her heart and put all the pieces back together, no words could stop her tears, she was in pain, and Harry knew she had to feel it to heal. He was going to heal, Liam was going to heal, Niall and Louis, they were going to heal, Zayn was going to heal.

Ariana is going to heal.

Alaska is healed.

Finally.

-

My heart actually hurts, like I've lost a part of me. I've lost an amazing character.
This is not the end, thank you for sticking around even though I can never update regularly. I hope you enjoyed, tell me your thoughts!

Also, Harry did an amazing performance in Manchester tonight, singing JALBOYH, reminding us why we are a family. Harry's fandom and Ariana's - we are a family. We heal each other.
I stand with you, Manchester. You're lovely people, and you're so brave, it's breathtaking.

Tonight, I remember our twenty-two angels.

Thank you for allowing me to share my favourite part with you, thank you for allowing me to use my voice, thank you for supporting me.
It truly means the world.

-Ariana xx