Diary of the Closet Gay Girl [COMPLETED]

Entry 15

26/8/17

Dear Diary,

Yes, I did wake up at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Deal with it! The reason being is because I didn't sleep until 6 o'clock in the morning and it's connected to the previous entry but don't worry, It'll be worth it... I think.

So, after Jamie told me that my brother Eric went missing and since (mostly) everyone was drunk no one knew Eric left the house. I went into Jamie's car and we drove all sorts of places!

Why Eric?! Why!?! Like why did you HAVE to go missing!

Unfortunately, we couldn't find Eric anywhere! My heart was beginning to beat faster, thinking about the worse possible scenarios that could happen to him; What if he's drunk and he wonders about in the alleyways and then he gets surrounded by a gang of lads who will take advantage of him and take his money and possibly beat him up or even kill him?

Yeah... I'm getting a little worked up.

We spent HOURS driving around town pretty much aimlessly until Delilah called me on my phone and said that one of Eric's friends might have an idea of where Eric would be. Turns out, he was in a strip club.

Yep. A strip club.

We eventually went into the strip club that Eric is most likely to be at. Obviously, we didn't go in without showing our IDs. It was pretty dark and the lights flashed around the room with the music blasting in full volume. This reminded me of when I went to Delilah's boyfriend's party.

We looked around and the majority of people who were sitting at tables or couches were male watching the main attraction; pole dancers. I quickly looked away from the pole dancers, feeling the heat on my cheeks. A few minutes later, we found Eric who was sitting in the front of the stage were the pole dancers were performing. He was drunk as I expected.

"Come on, bro. We're taking you home" I said as I tried to pull Eric off the couch but he not having it.

"Nuuuuu.... Amm Nuut Leavin'....." Drunk Eric slurred his words.

"Come one, it's 3:00 AM. It's time to go home."

"No..." Drunk Eric stuck his tongue out like a brat.

I looked at Jamie and just like she read my mind, she began to pick him up but to no avail, he ended up pushing her away which annoyed Jamie... A lot. So, she kept trying and trying and trying. While that was happening, I happened to look in front of me and saw a pole dancer.

She was... So beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I couldn't hear anything else. I couldn't see anything else. Just her. Then the pole dancer looked at me and smiled at me. Before I could react, she crawled towards me and... She kissed me on the cheek... And then went back to pole dancing.

At that very moment, it felt like time stopped.

As if I was pulled back into reality, I flinched and realised that Jamie was shaking me. "Lilly, we need to go and Eric home." I then nodded and helped Jamie take Eric, who passed out, into the car.

And for the whole time until 6 AM, I kept thinking about that moment. I wasn't sure if that peck on the cheek was an illusion but either way, I made me realise... That I'm gay.

I'm really gay.

Lilly.