who am I?

Ch. 5 Feelings in music

I ran and ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I took alley after alley. I was attacked a few times by people that didn't know me, but I escaped. Then, I started hyperventilating. I couldn't stop, but I realized where I was when I was pounding on a door. "What can I do for- Izaya what's wrong?!" Shinra asked worridly. I was still hyperventilating but I managed,   "Borrow. Room. Can't. Breathe." In between gasps as I ran to one of his extra rooms.

I sat down in a corner and pulled my knees up. "Izaya, Can I come in? Are you hurt?" Shinra asked as he tried to open the door, but I locked it. I was slowly calming down, but I still didn't want them to see me like this, so I tried to say no as normally as possible. It didn't work though because Celty tried to get me to open the door a couple minutes later.

I heard yelling from the other side of the door. It was Shinra, Celty and..... Kasuka against Shizu-chan.

Then Kasuka knocked on the door and said, "Izaya. I understand if you don't want to see anyone right now, but please just let one person in there to make sure your alright. If there's something you need we'll get it for you, anything just ask. Was there something I wanted? Actually ya there was. "Guitar." Was whispered and I heard someone run out the door.

"Look flea I'm sor... sorry for getting angry at you for no reason. I was just having a bad day and I ended up taking it out on you. Shinra is um a friend, so could you at least let him in? Look, we're all worried so please, just be alright." A beast started saying, but I couldn't breathe yet again. But this time I was laughing. My signature maniac laugh. "I can't have friends. I don't know why I ended up coming here. And the whole alright thing, don't even try it. You can't care about me and you don't. All everyone cares about is what I can do or that the fact that I'm not fazed by anything. So knock it off, it's not ever gonna work."

Then I heard my lifesaver and my laugh stopped. "I got it, now please let someone in." Kasuka said bringing it to the door. "Fine, Celty and Kasuka." I said as I put my hood over my eyes and grabbed my switchblade. Then I opened the door and only let those two in, but both Shinra and Shizu-chan tried, only to meet my blade.

I shut the door on them and quickly grabbed my guitar. "Izaya, are you alright?" Kasuka asked as he moved forward a step and like the saying I took two steps back. "Perfectly. So you can leave now." I replied wanting them to leave. "Really, then why are you bleeding, let us take a look at you."
"It's fine, a few mere scratches from a fight on my way here. I can handle a few armed punks by myself perfectly fine. So you can leave now."
"Absolutely not. Why do you want us to leave so badly? I thought we were-"I cut Kasuka off by saying,"What? Friends?! I can't have those, nor do I want them." I finished. "Alright, we'll leave, but don't try anything dangerous when we leave and when you come out you have to let Shinra look at you. Deal?" Celty said. I knew something was up, but I was itching to play and calm down since I couldn't do anything else, so I agreed.

They left and I played till I stopped shaking on the inside. I sang 'I can go the distance, Dance with the devil, Get out alive, World war me and I don't care.' (The songs are from YouTube at the end of this chapter if you want to listen to them) Sometime in those songs I began to cry, but as soon as they were over I forced myself back to being something I was not and was going to walk out when I thought everyone walked into the room all teary eyed and lunged at me. I didn't know what was happening so I followed the instincts that have kept me alive this whole time and ran. Then, I was knocked unconscious, I think, and later wished I had ran faster.