Until The Morning Light (USUK)

Don't Leave

Tears over flowed my eyes and down my face, my heart seized as I sobbed over a bloody sink. Overwhelming emotions clashed in my chest and my thoughts crowded my brain. I let out a strangled scream and shove everything off the counter. I sank to the ground and cried. He was dead. my brother, the man who raised me like I was his son not his brother was dead. And it was my fault.

I screamed until my throat was blistered, then I screamed some more. I cried for him, for the memories. They cut my heart like a blade. Every memory I held dear cut me deep. I deserved to die. I deserved to feel the pain I caused. I ripped this family apart, if I hadn't he would still be alive.

I stood shakily and opened the drawer and dug around until I felt my fingers against the cool metal that had been my friend for years. I picked it up with a graceful touch. I looked at it with a longing and awe. I looked down at my bloody knuckles, my pale wrists. They were decorated with white pale scars from past internal breakdowns, to external crisises . The patches of seemingly untouched skin called my name so sweetly. I lowered the metal edge into the skin and I pressed down and pulled it across. I made sure to be careful. I deserved to live in pain and torment. I deserved to live isolated.

Pain sprouted and I sighed. Blood pooled from the cut. I moved down and repeated. I continued and breathed softly as the numbness set in. I looked up to see myself in the mirror. My green eyes were rimmed with red, the skin below my eyes was puffy and raw. I was a mess.

I looked back down quickly and put the blade down. I rinsed the cuts and bandaged them before numbly crawled my way to bed. silently I closed my eyes hoping to never awake.

Don't leave me brother