hold me tight or don't

chapter 3, part ii: the rebirth of camila cabello.

Y/N knows about Camila.

She learns more daily, the more she reads the book that Camila had written and Camila feels more alive the more it happens. The Cuban thought that it would stop at the book, but Y/N curiously goes further to learn about the origins of the book. She isn't even finished with the book when she digs in to find more about Camila Cabello.

She goes through files and files, goes through Camila's things. The Latin girl knows, she wishes she could tell Y/N that she's here but that doesn't seem to happen no matter how alive she's beginning to feel. So she watches Y/N's curiosity get the better of her, from the way she searches names up in the area to find out who this person is.

Camila had also witnessed her write up parts about her existence on her article, something about a book (she doesn't go into detail about, Camila is relieved to know) and how amazing it is so far.

(She hasn't even finished the book.)

It makes Camila come close to crying when she sees how much it's taking a toll on the other girl, to points where she wonders on where she would be if she had actually published it. Fully written, edited and put out. Y/N enjoys it more than she should, thought it makes her sad it's bitter but it's enjoyable.

And surely enough she picks up the references.

Camila tips more books over, stumbling from the power that allows her to feel. She leaves another mark for Y/N to deal with in her room.

Y/N gets it. She knows Camila is dead, she finds out the worst way and a part of her (though she'll never admit) wishes that she could meet this girl. The two breaching but never quite meeting. To say that Y/N has some kind of obsession with the Cuban girl would be an understatement, Camila is proud to say that it goes both ways. Though its one way that only one of them know, not the other.

"Who are you Camila Cabello?" Y/N asks one night when she's looking through the book. "You're dead but, I just find it so hard to believe this has anything to do with a story created in your head and the things that happened in your life." She mumbles under her breath; Camila can hear.

Camila wishes nothing more but to speak to the girl, from where she's at in the corner of the room, she wishes nothing more than to be able to speak back and tell her how thankful she is that Y/N was the one to open the book.

Sometimes it's like Y/N can feel Camila's presence because she'll turn around to Camila's direction for no reason, perk up when Camila enters. Without even knowing, she feels something. Camila knows so much of it, she hopes that she feels her presence more. She doesn't know how it works, but it's good.

Camila doesn't know much about love, she doesn't know much about crushes or liking people. Y/N being the only person who she would consider to have an emotion connection with, but she's pretty sure she's gotten a soft spot as time passes by. She seems intrigues with the dead girl as much as Camila is with her, its unhealthy but it somehow works.

It should be spring, showers of rain from the morning to the evening say otherwise. Most days than other it doesn't stop raining even until nightfall, leaving the trees outside to smack softly against the window pane of the library. Camila spends time there when she's not busy watching.

Either there or the basement, it's a dark place where she likes to just sit and do nothing. She doesn't ever get bored because it's damp and it feels like where dead people should just sit and think about nothing.

Lucy has grown closer to Y/N. Camila doesn't like Lucy as much anymore because she tried to burn some of Camila's things since she got so mad at the Cuban girl. Thankfully Y/N had been there to stop it all, another reason why Camila appreciates the other girl. Ghosts aren't supposed to feel much, but feeling jealous is something Camila never thought she'd feel. Jealousy for Lucy for getting closer to Y/N, Y/N accepting it without even realising. Most of all, jealousy for not being alive.