When Boxes Rattle

Chapter 9

"We're going."

It still wasn't morning by definition. It was 3am, when crickets were more proud than ashamed to rattle on with their late noon compositions.

Kevin rubbed some color in his eyes before responding on the phone.

"What do you mean we're going?"

"Mom's left the car keys with me when she went for fieldwork yesterday. And I just realized I am not in the mood to listen to tax tomorrow." Terence replied in full alertness.

"You mean five hours later."

"You know what I mean. Anyway, you're up for it, aren't you? You need some fresh air, dude. You just got out of the hospital."

Kevin needed a lot of things, the least of them was to escape a review session in tax. He knew Kalia will not approve. Especially since she'd scheduled him for a therapy that specific day.

Four hours later, Kevin and Terence found themselves driving along Don Salvador Benedicto highway.

The highway was asphalted on a snake-trail cliff side: to the left was a sheer, vertical stone wall dangerously prone to landslides, to the right was the steepest bluff guarded only with a ten kilogram rail. The threat of an 8000-meter fall to the stony riverbed below should have eased Terence's pressure on the gas, but damn them all "Slow Down" warnings--graduating accountancy students don't live to play safe.

Both of them were enjoying a McDonald's chicken sandwich and fries as their breakfast. It was one of those I-care-not-what-will-happen times, and Kevin Tan enjoyed it.

"Why do beggars beg?" Terence broke their musings off.

"So they could eat," responded Kevin.

Terence shook his head. "They beg because they can get away with it. They beg not because it is the only thing they can do, nor is it the only way they can live. They beg because we give. And the more we give the more they beg."

The absurd thought gnawed on Kevin.

"Now, why do we give?" Terence continued on. "Do you think people give out of compassion? Out of love?"

"I give out of pity, Terence."

"Hah! You give out of the need to satisfy yourself, Kev. You look at a beggar and you feel the need to give. Not because that man will die if you don't, but because you won't handle the thought of not helping when you can. It's not about their need. It's about how much you can give."

"Seriously dude, I don't think of it that way."

"Because your subconscious tells you that you are a kind, compassionate, and good person who will go to heaven. Isn't it funny? The beggar begs because he can beg and have; the giver gives so he can have the feeling he can give. The selfish world we live in."

Kevin raved on his chicken sandwich.

Terence continued to drive.

In about a couple of kilometers they found themselves riding atop a river valley. Terence slowed to a narrow cliff, overlooking the sublime water and rock formations below. After halting, both of them got out and sat on the rock porches. Trees choked by indigo vines shielded them from the sun, and the sly morning breeze reminded them that they were way off from the city. Kevin gulped in the air, reveling at the cleansing it made to his distressed heart and lungs. He then took out his smartphone and played Set It Off’s Why Worry, setting the volume to full.

After a while with the playlist trailing off song after song, Terence breathed out a heavy sigh. “Jessica’s returning,” he voiced out cautiously, as if the name was a bad omen.

Startled, Kevin straightened up. “She’s leaving the priory?”

“No, man no. Although I’d give up half my lifespan just so she would,” Terence replied. “Her batch is having an immersion before finally accepting the Order. Much like how catholic priests have a one year escapade before their orientation so they’d realize what they would be leaving behind for their vows. Jessica’s going to be spending the first six months here in the city before leaving for her 120-day Seclusion in Cebu.”

Kevin sensed uneasiness in Terence’s voice, and he knew waiting for Terence to spill out was easier than prodding him. Jessica was Terence’s high school girlfriend, until Jessica decided to take on the Order of the Priory—a nunhood in their religion. The Order forbid its regiment to marry, so any hope for a romantic relationship between her and Terence had been lost.

For a year after that, Terence had suffered depression.

He described it as a pit—a dark, deep pit where even the sound of one’s exhalation created deafening echoes. Echoes that bring forth regret, remorse, and raw pain.

“She wants to meet,” Terence croaked at last. “She’s with a priory friend who’ll be staying with her here for the six months. She’s bringing that friend and she told me to bring you so it wouldn’t be only the two of us.”

“And you said yes?” Kevin dreaded his friend’s answer. He had witnessed his depression about four years ago, after all. He worried that Terence might go back to that state if things go wrong with Jessica.

Terence pouted his lips, his eyes filled with disgust. For a moment Kevin dared to hope. Until Terence made a tsk sound and groaned: “how can a guy say no to that.”