Cuts (polysanders)

Chapter 7

Song: Truce by Twenty One Pilots

A/N here's what liam wears so you can better imagine him: black shorts with fishnet tights underneath, a mint crop top with nothing underneath, and short black heeled boots. 

[depression's pov]

"These are the rules of the feeling circle: you must share your feelings, no matter how stupid or silly you think they are. I promise we won't judge. If you do judge, I will be forced to drop kick you. We will go in a circle, clockwise. Once we complete one rotation, you may raise your hand and ask to share more. You can comment on someone's feelings, but only after they share. Do not interrupt anyone. This is a safe space and we will help" Liam explained.

"Do we have to?" Logan asked.

"Yes" Liam replied. We all nodded, everyone a bit scared. Liam can be incredibly scary if he wants to.

"I will go first to make you guys more comfortable, hopefully." Liam said, "I'm heartbroken. I found out boyfriend was cutting again and my friends are cutting too. Mainly, I'm disappointed, in myself. I didn't see any of the signs, I didn't help any of you. I'm a horrible friend and boyfriend."

"Stop, you weren't going to see any signs. I do my hardest to hide this from you. I'm sorry, I always end up hurting you" I told Liam, standing up to hold his crying and shaking body. He continues to cry but nods. I sat down and we moved on, to Roman.

"If I had to be honest, I feel ashamed. I'm so sorry guys" Roman admitted.

"Why? You're allowed to be broken, be broken to the point that you need to break yourself to feel a little bit fixed. Don't be ashamed, be a little proud that you didn't take it too far" I said to Roman.

"Wow, um you're right, Dee. Thanks" Roman said with a nod. We moved on, to Patton.

"I-I uh I feel stupid. I'm s-supposed to be the one who helps you with emotions. I d-didn't even realize..." Patton stuttered.

"Pat no, you can't always be there for us. We can't expect you to be there for us. Clearly, you need to be there for yourself too. I should've been able to help you" Virgil spoke up.

"You're right, but um well you guys are kinda the reason why....Princey and Logan to be specific" Patton said

"Well, you guys are asshole to him. You're always telling Patton that his ideas are dumb, or he can't take things seriously, or he's just going to mess things up" I told them. Patton nodded to indicate I was right. I was surprised he didn't tell me watch my language.

"We're, we're so sorry Patton" Roman apologized.

"We were too stupid to realize we were hurting you" Logan explained.

"It's okay guys, just be nicer in the future, okay?" Patton said. The two were quick to nod. Then we moved on, to Virgil.

"Anxious, like always. I was scared to tell you guys 'cause I thought you guys would hate me even more for it and you would think I'm some sort of freak. Honestly, I feel comforted in a weird way" Virgil said.

"It's not weird. It helps a lot of people to know that their not alone in the way they feel" I said. That concept did not apply to me. How could I feel better knowing that so many people had to suffer the same way that I have to? 

"I have to agree with you Virg" Patton said, a little on the quieter side. Then we moved on, to Logan.

"I am surprised and disappointed. Disappointed that I let it come this far and surprised that I am not alone in my struggle" Logan stated.

"They can all help you, you all are in recovery. I believe in all of you" I said.

"What about you?" Roman asked.

"I am afraid there is no hope for me, but that is fine" I said.

We didn't move on to me that day. Instead, we moved to the couch to watch Lilo and Stitch, which was nice. We are family, and in this family, no one will be left behind.

We can have a feelings circle in the comments if you need one. I love you guys so much. Well anyways, thanks for reading. Comment, vote, whatever.

-SoftxRacoon