“That’s good though isn’t it?” I asked him, “You’d rather her open up to you than keep it all inside right?”
“Yeah, it’s just...shocking. She’s been through so much, yet she comes off so strong” He said,
“Yeah, I know. I was really surprised when she told me. She said she wanted to tell you herself, otherwise I would’ve told you”
“I’m not upset she waited this long, It just upsets me that her father could do such a thing, and that Oliver kid, he’s a total douche. I just want to keep her safe, I don’t want her to get hurt ever again. I wish I had asked her out before we went on tour, she was all I thought about...” Zayn confessed.
I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. I wanted to be with someone that cared for me, I wanted someone to make sure I never got hurt again, not be the one that hurts me.
“Ask her out then” I said simply,
“You say that so nonchalantly, ‘Just ask her out’” He says, trying to imitate my voice,
“That is totally not how I talk, but obviously she’ll say yes, Zayn. Just ask her out. Or are you too much of a pussy?” I asked, trying to intimidate him,
“I am not! And, I’ve been planning to, I just want to make it special. She really likes ice skating right?” He questioned,
“She loves it. She has off of work tomorrow I believe, I can take her to Rockefeller Center where they have the giant ice rink, we can meet you there. I’ll leave afterwards so you can be alone, and you can ask her then! She’d love it!” I told him, he nodded in reply,
“That sounds really good! Thank you so much for your help, Ellie. Let’s hope her answer is just as good as that plan!” He replied smiling, he must be playing it out in his head.
We sat together for a while more, just discussing life. Mostly Zayn spoke, being his usual profound self, while I just sat there, thinking about and analyzing what he says. We discussed relationships, family, futures, pasts and shared our life changing experiences. I told Zayn about Justin and what happened with my father. We discussed how Justin still lived around here, and Zayn promised he and the boys would always be able to help. I didn’t believe that very much.
“Wow, how did you manage to keep yourself together all that time?” He questioned,
“Hah” I scoffed and looked away, “I didn’t” I whispered, but apparently not quiet enough,
“What was that?” Zayn asked looking curious,
“What?” I replied, trying to keep it cool,
“What you just said, I didn’t hear you” He explained, clearly not leaving it,
“I said... that I didn’t”
“What do you mean you didn’t? Ellie what did you do?” He asked with a serious look on his face,
“Nothing that dramatic” I told him,
“Ellie, What. Did. You Do.” He asked sternly as I continued to look in the other direction. I didn’t move a muscle in my body until he placed his hands on my shoulders and made me face him. I began to get teary eyed, thinking about how things used to be, how I was so alone and I looked up to Zayn’s reassuring face, and realized that I could trust him. I could trust all of the boys, they were there for me, whether we were fighting or not. They had my back, and I had theres.
“I uhm, well I cut myself. But everything’s fine, I’m okay, I’m not crazy and I don’t need help” I told him, trying to keep myself composed,
“Why would you do something so, so, stupid! And so dangerous, Ellie? Why?” He asked, looking as if he were about to cry,
“It helped me. It calmed me actually, it made me forget about all the other things I had to deal with, eased my mind a bit” I explained, “You aren’t really in a place to judge me if you haven’t been there yourself, so don’t even go there”
“I wasn’t going to go there. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, I wish we had known you before, make sure you didn’t have to be alone with all that was going on.”
“It’s fine. The past is the past. I know that I have you guys now, and that makes me feel much better. You can always count on me too, I’ll be there. ”I told him,
“You can count on me, like one, two, three and I’ll be there. And I know when I need it I can count on you like four, three, two and you’ll be there. Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah” He sang, quoting Bruno Mars. “I have to get going though” Zayn said as he finished his song, “Big day tomorrow I need to get ready for!”
“Sure is, and I wish you the best of luck my friend” I told him as I stood and lead him to the door,
“Glad you’re feeling better, bye Ellie! Thanks for helping me out, I’ll talk to you tomorrow babe!” Zayn said as he left and went to his car. I watched him as he got in and drove away, just to make sure. It felt really eerie outside, almost like was being watched, but I shook it off as being paranoid.
I made a quick trip to the kitchen to grab some water before bed. I filled up a glass with the cool liquid from the sink since I had no more bottles, the sink water is weird tasting sometimes, but it’s safe to drink. I walked into my room, placed the water on my desk and decided to shower before I went to bed. I grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and headed into the bathroom. I started up the water, making sure it was extra hot, after sitting outside for a while, I was chilled to the bone.
I stepped into the steaming water, letting myself warm back up to my normal body temperature. I washed up and whatnot, and turned the water cool, my usual ritual in the shower. I shut off the water, and I got dressed in my pajamas. I was in the middle of brushing my hair when I heard a crash outside the bathroom door, coming from my room. I nervously opened the door to see that a vase had fallen off the small table in my room near the balcony. I’d left the door open,
“Stupid Ellie” I whispered to myself as I closed the door and began picking up the broken pieces of porcelain. I cleaned up the vase and hopped into my bed, taking my phone with me. I sent one more text before I went to bed, which now it was around 4:30 AM,
To: Nialler
From: Ellie :)
Hey, we need to talk tomorrow, well today I suppose haha. Meet me at my place at 9? I don’t sleep much, so I should be awake, if not just come upstairs. The doorman should let you in, ask for Eloise Cooper. xx
I took a sip from my water, noticing a strange taste,
“Hmm, water tastes off today”
I placed the glass back on the nightstand after drinking about half the glass. I laid down on my pillow and began feeling drowsy. I was drifting off to sleep when I heard my bedroom door open,
“What are you doing here?!” I asked, you could hear the shakiness in my voice,
“I missed you, figured I’d stop by, recreate a memory or two” He said with a smile on his face,
“Justin, please, get out!” I begged,
“I’ll stay, quite the hostess you are” He replied making his way towards me, “Did you like your water? I made it special for you!” He continued, “Sorry, didn’t bring any protection this time, you should be safe though. Let’s see that pretty little body of yours” He snickered, as he began to undress me.
The drugs mixed into my water started to affect me, and I was too weak to fight back. The last thing I can remember before I passed out was Justin’s face hovering over me, as he beat me and raped me while I lay there, tears falling from my eyes wishing that someone would save me.
