Chapter 6:
I went straight to bed when I got home, not caring about homework, school, I’m just not even going to bother not crying, it doesn’t work. Emily knows that she’s broken me, but I’m starting to think that this is becoming more than a little prank from her.
I woke up the next morning at 7:43 so I got up and went into the shower, I had to get all of the dried blood, and my cuts cleaned up so that they won’t get infected. So no one will know what I’ve done. As I got out of the shower, I took a minute to look at my reflection, my eyes look tired, my whole face looks tired, my eyes didn’t have their usual glisten to them, I’ve dropped quite a few pounds. I decided a few days ago that I was too overweight, so I haven’t been eating many meals. Now there is no one around, so no one will bother stopping me, maybe it’ll kill me...no one will care.
I got dressed with leggings and an oversized sweater, not bothering to put on make-up and threw on my Nike 6.0’s. I had a few minutes to spare so I decided to check my tumblr, and I saw this quote with a picture of Louis in the background, “Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain”, which was a quote by him. I smiled to myself, laughing at how uncomplicated his life is, it’s never going to be. He can have any girl he wants, he can have people do anything for him, there are girls that are dying to meet him, yet he won’t even notice half of them.
I opened up Twitter, noticing random fans tweeting One Direction, sighing to myself because they are never going to notice me. I posted a new tweet with the link to my Facebook attached,
Hey guys, I have no friends in real life :( so friend me on Facebook if you want :)
I signed out, picked up my bag for school and headed out the door. Today was the last day before midterm exams, so I needed to go to school, otherwise I wouldn’t have even bothered coming in. If I get any comments today, I don’t know what I’ll do...
No problems on the bus, and I braced myself before heading into the school. I pulled my hood over my head, hid my hands under my sleeves and let my head hang low. I made it to class without any problems, and when I sat down in my seat, Justin looked at me with a clear face of guilt. He looked away, and looked kind of nervous before turning back to face me.
“Eloise, I’m really sorry for what I did, and what I’ve been saying about you. I don’t mean it at all” he said quietly so the teacher couldn’t here us,
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry? You’ve basically taken the most important thing away from a girl, and you’ve traumatized me. I really liked you Justin, I just didn’t realize what a total prick you were. You have no idea how much your words affected me, how much anyone’s words affect me in general”
“Wait, you were a virgin? Oh my God, I had no idea, honestly. I wouldn’t have done that if I had known it was your first time. Emily told me that you already had done it like 5 times. I’m so sorry El” he said, with a look of complete sincerity,
“You didn’t know? Why would you listen to Emily, you knew we weren’t friends anymore. And you don’t care about what you did, you aren’t sorry. What’s done is done Justin, forgiving you won’t let me forget what you’ve done to me. Have fun with Emily, she’s really a keeper, pff” I said, I was really talking my mind today, it felt good.
“Fine. Don’t accept my apology, I get it you hate me, I would too. And I know, out of all the people I pick Emily. I’m aware of how much of a bitch she is, I just don’t have much say in the matter” he said, turning back to the front of the room, not saying another word to me.
Class was over and I went home straight away. While playing on my phone I got a new text message,
“That’s cute. Trying to flirt with your
ex? He’d never want you back, he’s
not even being true to you, stupid
whore. Nobody’s ever going to like
you, not after they hear the truth.
You’re just a fat, ugly, slut, that
no one’s ever going to want to be
with, get used to it. I hope you
suffer, bitch.”
“DAMMIT YOU’RE PUSHING ME OVER
THE EDGE! IF I’M GONE YOU WOULD
REGRET ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU SAID!”
“No, honestly I wouldn’t. Whores
like you have no place in the world”
I wasn’t taking this shit from her anymore. I don’t care who she tells all the lies to for this. I’m not letting her push me around like she used to, I’m not letting her me over the way she did to Justin. I’m going to end this, one way or the other.
“So you wouldn’t care if I went? What about
your mom or dad? YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR
THE DEATH OF SOMEONE?”
“Well no. We all know you’ve been
bullied your whole life,
I can just say that everyone pushed
you. I for one wouldn’t miss you.”
Obviously you wouldn’t miss me. You’ve been making my life hell since 5th grade, I can remember the story of our friendship. You see, I never was really the popular type, I didn’t have many friends in 5th grade, only about two. The first one ended up becoming popular, and the second moved away, I was left alone. That’s when Emily decided to “take me in” as she called it.
She tortured me from that day on. She had acted so friendly and nice when we were in public, like a school or shopping, but the moment we got home she turned into a psycho. Emily would invite me over and she wouldn’t take no for an answer, ever. She’d ask me personal questions, give me all of these “tips”, and she would tell me to do all of these things. Now, back then I was weak and naïve, I would listen to her. If that was no, hell no would I listen to her, hence why we are no longer friends.
I honestly don’t know how much more I can take from her, how much longer I can go on with this constant bashing. My self-esteem has completely depleted, my confidence is gone, I have no friends, no family, nobody loves me. I wish someone would just notice me before I reach that point where I can’t handle this.
All I know is that I can’t take this much longer...
