DARK SEDUCTION

chapter: 37

Leila

Diary Entry

November 5, 2011

Flashback before the party

When I first arrived at this remote, suffocating place, I had no intention of making friends. I didn’t want to associate with anyone, let alone trust them. I had been burned too many times before. But that fateful day when I caught my roommate snooping through my things changed everything.

Amanda was not only my roommate; she was also studying the same course as me, so avoiding her was impossible. I had always been careful, keeping my distance, maintaining my privacy. But that day, I walked into our room to find her rifling through my belongings. The sight of her holding a bundle of Max's pictures sent a wave of panic through me.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing, Amanda?” I demanded, my voice trembling with anger and fear. I snatched the pictures out of her hands before she could see the ultrasound scan hidden underneath. “I told you not to go through my things! I want to be left alone. What right do you have to invade my privacy like this? Don’t ever do that again!”

The thought that she might have discovered my biggest secret made me dizzy. I realized right then and there that keeping the scan was a huge risk, but I couldn’t bring myself to destroy it. It was ridiculous, I knew, but that little piece of paper was all I had left of my baby. No one knew about it, not even my closest friends back home. It was my burden to bear, and I intended to carry it alone.

Amanda looked shocked and mumbled an apology, but the damage was done. From that moment on, I became the subject of whispers and rumors. My already icy reputation took a turn for the worse. I went from being the cold, weird girl who kept to herself to being branded as a witch. My obsession with Max was plastered all over the school, and everyone knew about it.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Max was the most eligible bachelor around. Handsome, wealthy, and the epitome of every girl's dream man, he was the subject of many crushes, not just mine. So, in the end, it didn’t really matter. This was college, after all, and no one really cared about another person's business. Whatever was said to me or about me didn’t bother me much. After all, compared to what I had seen and done, these kids were just pesky flies buzzing around. I ignored them, as I always had.

Despite my best efforts to push people away, some of the girls still tried to get close to me. They were drawn to my aloofness, intrigued by the mystery surrounding me. They wanted to lean on me, to draw from my experiences, but I wasn’t ready to share. I needed space to think, to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.

The school itself was meant to tame wayward rich kids, to teach them discipline and morality. But in reality, it only seemed to exacerbate their issues. The restrictive environment, the constant surveillance, the forced prayers it all contributed to the development of personality complexes in many of the students. They either rebelled quietly, becoming even more detached and disillusioned, or they overcompensated, trying too hard to conform and losing themselves in the process.

I didn’t fit into either category. I was neither rebellious nor conformist. I simply existed, detached from the world around me. The only thing that mattered was getting through this ordeal and getting out of here as quickly as possible.

But everything changed after that incident with Amanda. It made me reconsider my approach, my isolation. I decided that if I was going to be stuck here, I might as well try to make the most of it. Maybe even have a little fun, despite the risks. I couldn’t shake the feeling that keeping to myself was only making things worse. I needed to live a little, to remind myself that there was still a world outside these walls.