For My Beloved

My message to you

Life just sucks, then we all die.

I'm not perfect, I'm not good, I'm a mess and I'm an asshole. One you claimed that you would never be separate from. I wasn't abusive, that's a lie you tell yourself if you believe it. Not even emotionally. I'm blunt, and sometimes for the sake of brevity I'll remove the sweet wrapping when delivering a message and honestly that's not a problem or fault. You expected your Prince Charming, I gave you your Beast. We could've been something you know! I hope you're doing better without me now cus you won't find someone who loves you more. And if this is resentful then I'm sorry but I hope that whoever you end up with reminds you of how committed to you I always was. I'll take responsibility for our demise in public but when it's just us, don't you dare blame it on me. I gave you my all. It wasn't always paradise but love isn't meant to be. I wish you could understand that.

Love I'm not blaming you, I'm letting myself be free with words because they're the only thing I have any control over. You broke my heart and yes I'm a "bit" upset with you over it. Mainly cus I believed that you'd never hurt me and yet you're the one who hurt me most. And that's okay, pain passes, but we won't. I want the memories gone. I want the smell of you out of my nose, I want to forget the way you breathe. I need to move on because I'm tearing myself apart by staying still in hope. But that's not your fault. That's not your problem.