(she told me to stop falling too fast
for secretive girls who batted their eyelashes
and for rebellious boys who didn't care enough,
but when did i ever prioritise her advice
over the cravings of my lonely heart?)
his name was ryan and my name was babe or love.
he was a junior-aged drop-out who lived in the party scene
and i was a nervous freshman who rarely touched
red cups or hot boys in said party scenes.
(she told me i was a loner and i was bored,
but if i sought an adventure, i'd end up getting lost.
just as usual, she was right;
i wanted to do something to change my life
so i followed ryan everywhere throughout the night.)
i took more sips than he did in order to look cool,
and i coughed when i took a drag then covered it up
with a dumb excuse that made him amused.
i didn't mind it when his hand moved further up my thigh.
(it happened once and twice then too many times
and she told me she was fine with that,
but i was getting too attached,
and i should stop demanding attention and love
from a rebellious boy who doesn't care enough.)
i couldn't get ryan out of my mind,
and i didn't want to get rid of that drunken feeling
that was intertwined with being truly alive,
with being pushed away and pulled back in.
(she told me about the pain
that came with being treated like a doll
and i told her that it was tolerable,
and how it was worth it and how it was normal.
she didn't believe me, but i believed him.)
i had way too many chores, not enough money,
parents with a temper like a june noon,
and an endless amount of worries,
but i still found the time to look for ryan and cling to him.
(she told me he didn't care
and i told her i didn't care and that she wasn't there,
so she pushed me outside and away,
and i distanced myself from her for many days.)
i was so young and he made me feel old enough,
and i was so dumb yet i thought i knew a lot,
and i liked to pretend it was fine that he never cared,
because he was the adventure my lonely heart sought
(she told me that adventures lead to nowhere,
and i told her to stop falling too fast
for playboys who pretended to care,
and for pretty girls who would break her heart,
then we can ditch adventuring and go on quests.)
// oo bi pals being bi pals. i'm SO sorry for taking ages to post :( and yes as u can tell i was running out of ideas when bis was written ahh but this book's nearly over!! thoughts on this, anyway?
YOU ARE READING
BOYS
Poetrya collection of poems in which you meet twenty-six boys and read their stories from the perspective of twenty-six other boys. you've met most of them before, in reality, outside these pages. and you've seen some of their faces in the street. and you...
