Almond Boy

Almond Boy - 23

"So, the idea is, since you are new to the whole system at such a . . . difficult age, that you would like to try group therapy," Dr. Bereux says. She says this with sickeningly sweet smiles and she bobs up on her toes so that she seems excited. 

Emma can guess what her parents think she will say. They probably think she'll say no way, and that it's embarrassing, and that she doesn't want to seem like a fool in front of all those kids. 

The truth is, is that those are all true. But she will do it on one condition, and it is a condition she wants to have in a face-to-face conversation. 

She'd go if Elliot went with her. 

She couldn't ask him now because he had to go back to school. She had been in the hospital for three days now, and he came the day that she went into surgery, came right after school the next day, and now with his mother growing really worried about him had to stay at home. 

She told him she'd be fine, but though she had had an idea that Dr. Bereux would ask her this, she hadn't put any thought into her answer - well, till now. 

Emma has no desire to explain that to her parents though. Her mother is getting worried and Emma knows it. Worried that Emma's dumping all of her old friends for Elliot. That she's getting too clingy, that she shouldn't be guilting him into involvement. 

Its stuff that Emma's worried about too, but, no one else understood. 

Emma falls back and lays her arms over her head, letting out a huge puff of air. 

"Gosh, I don't know. Um -"

"You don't have to answer right now!" 

Emma quirks her eyebrows at Dr. Bereux and gives her a little smirk. Please, anything for you to say yes. 

Emma grabs her phone and clicks the notes:

Questions for Elliot:

Emma's list was getting bigger and bigger as the days go by. She started the list before the surgery, and now after she'd added more and more, each question seeming more important than the last.

How come even after sleeping through a surgery that surgery wears you out so much? Is it the pain that's just exhausting? Or is it my medication? 

How come Doctors use the word 'prep'? Is it natural for that to bother me so much? 

My Doctor says I may be eligible for the 'Make a Wish Foundation'. I thought that was just for kids with cancer - why? Is that a good thing? 

How many Doctors do you see? 

Is surgery supposed to hurt so bad?

Am I one of the first people to pass out BEFORE the surgery? That was really embarrassing.

Is it usual when you're sick to push yourself away from old friends? I don't really want to talk to many people anymore. It's all so exhausting. 

Why do Doctors push group therapy so much?

The last one's new, and it's bothering Emma beyond belief. She doesn't get it - it's not their mental states, why do they care so much?

"Can you give me a day?" Emma says.

Dr. Bereux nods and laughs, "of course! Of course. Call me tomorrow. And remember Mrs. and Mr. Larson that Emma needs to take these six pills three times a day. A couple of them are just vitamins but they're absolutely vital. And remember that she cannot eat . . ."

Emma's mind begins to drift easily when Dr. Bereux speaks. It's nothing personal, it's just that Dr. Bereux's speech is much like a lecture hall with a teacher who tries too hard to seem exciting, and in the end exciting drawls just end up sounding the same. 

Emma thinks a lot nowadays. She often finds herself ignoring others around her now, which isn't usual. She used to be the friend that everyone went to to find someone to listen to, but now Emma finds herself unable to listen long enough to help. Cystic Fibrosis has actually made her a worse friend, and she's become so much worse that she doesn't care enough to fix it. 

She would if she had the energy, she really would, but she doesn't. She's tired all the time, and when she's not tired she's coughing because she's too energetic. After awhile, everything just becomes white noise. 

There is, though, one exception, and that is why he may be dire for her to go to group therapy. Without him, she'll get lost in her mind forever: but with him, well, she'll at least be focused on one person around.