cold hands

normal?

~lily's p.o.v~

           I woke to a shaky feeling like i was being rattled back and forth, not harshly though, it was like a soft shaking. My face was warm, not hot but a comfortable warmness, my body and hands warm.....this wasn't normal....usually i'm always cold, where was I? I opened my eyes to see timothy, holding me in his arms, my head rested on his shoulder as he held my torso with his arm and my legs with the other. I turned into a tomato, red as a fire hydrant, you know those anime's where there faces turn absolutely completely red? That was me, no joke, not over exaggerating, that was me right now. We were on the bus, he probably carried me there, i don't know how he could though i'm so heavy the strongest person in the world probably couldn't pick me up let alone timothy, hes like a twig hes so skinny and short how could he of all people carry me. He looked over at me and a small pink tint filled his cheeks. "h-hey, sorry i had to carry you out to the bus you were still asleep and it was time to go and i didn't want to wake you up."he said nervously, "h-how could you pick me up? i'm so....." i trailed off, i didn't want to talk about how i look at myself, i didn't want it to be awkward. "you were easy to pick up, i'm not that weak" he said smiling, i realized i was still on his lap, i tried to get off but i was in a rush and i was panicking, so i just ended up flopping onto the floor of the bus squirming around like a fish out of water. He looked down at me smiling and holding back a laugh, my face disguised itself as a tomato again. I got up and sat next to him as he threw his hat at me in gesture to cover my face with it until i calmed down. After i got off the bus I went home and....I felt really suicidal. I didn't ant to live anymore all of the bad thoughts were filling my head all the things i hated about myself were more easy to see, I just hated everything about me.  I opened up wattpad and wrote away, i already had suicide notes written out for each person i cared about or hated or both, i added onto each of them, new things that had happened or new feelings i felt for them. The last one i did was Timothy's his was the longest chapter of all of them. I updated it and published all the new changes to them, it was 10 o clock at night, Cye was asleep. i walked out to the kitchen and opened the medicine cabinet, i grabbed a bottle of pain killers and a bottle of water and crept back up stairs.